Thursday, August 03, 2006

War Is Not Healthy For Children And Other Living Things

“Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” —George Bernard Shaw

Yesterday the spector of Donald Rumsfeld appeared in a bullet-pocked hut in Haditha. Reports stated that Rumsfeld was attempting to explain why U.S. Marines had killed 24 innocent women and children. According to local authorities, the apparition lasted for about 3 minutes, then vanished.

Rumsfeld, as usual, accomplished very little because no one could understand him. He spoke only in English. He defended the marines’ actions and appologized for any inconvenience. He also mentioned that he was “the great and powerful Oz,” and that he could stop the war and bring back all the dead if the little girl would bring back the walking stick of Osama Bin Laden.

He succeeded only in terrifying the Bee-jesus (or Bee-allah) out of the little girl who was already frightened half to death.

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