Sunday, December 31, 2006

The Passage Of Time

“Fast away the old year passes, Hail the new, ye lads and lasses.” —Welsh Carol

It seems only fair to note the old year’s passing and wish it good riddance. Not much good has come of this past year. Humanity should be just a little further along on its path to righteousness. But it would seem that even the religious are far from righteous. More like self-righteous. Maybe if we outlawed religion and concentrated on being human we might overcome our natural animal tendencies to break commandments and commit the seven deadly sins. To cease being hypocrites.

What’s that?

Oh, Never mind.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

An Officer And A Gentleman

“Honor and shame from no condition rise. Act well your part: there all the honor lies.
—Alexander Pope

President Gerald R. Ford died the day after Christmas, 2006.

A kinder, gentler president this country never had. To look on the smiling visage of the young naval officer in 1944 one would never surmise that he would be vaulted into the presidency over a series of bizarre occurrences, handed a can of worms by the country and ridiculed by a man who would create his career by performing pratfalls at the president’s expense.

He had to be a big man to pardon the Machiavellian monster, R.M. Nixon simply to get on with the business of state. He was lucky to get out of Washington intact. He may have been the last honorable president this country ever had.

The good, the innocent, the naive, the sincere are often duped or betrayed by those who survive them.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The War

It’s really quite easy, you know. One only needs to make believe that it’s a movie. A cartoon of life if you will. Lately it has taken on absurd overtones with the Baker/Hamilton Commission’s six-month study that came up with absolutely nothing new, and absolutely nothing that will be acted upon by our current president. So much wasted time.

And now the president, who was originally going to assess the situation and tell America what he intends to do, has decided to postpone any comment on what his actions might be until after the new year. Given the current scenario. we won’t know anything until next November.

Friday, December 08, 2006

You Spent Six Months Studyin' Iraq And You Want Me To What? You Must Think I’m Crazy!

“It is a short walk from the hallelujah to the hoot.—Vladimir Nabokov

Does anyone in their right mind think for one moment that George W. Bush is going to pay attention to what the Iraq study group advises? I think it just might have been a six-month stall by the administration. Regardless of what Bush says, we're not leaving Iraq in our lifetime.

And I don’t care what you call it, ”Cut and run,” ”The way forward,” or “Profit in confusion.” It still means,
“Staying the course.” Because the only person who can change this course in the next two years it Dubya hisself. And I don't think the decider has decided anything since he got us into Iraq.

We won't leave even if it means killing every last one of their civilians and evey last one of our soldiers. Does the term “meat” strike a familiar note? Every week we get blown up driving around Baghdad.

“What did you do in Baghdad, daddy?”

“I drove around in my HumVee looking for the enemy until he blew us up with a roadside bomb and we got killed and maimed.”

That's either a noble cause or a stupid idea, and I have a hunch which.

Has it occurred to anyone that the administration really wants us to stay in Iraq. Don't we need the oil? Why would we be building 16 new bases there. Why are there almost as many civilian contractors there as ground troops? And where is all that money going that is unaccounted for? Why am I asking stupid question?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Jack D.Ripper Confides In Mandrake

Ripper: The base is being put on Condition Red. I want this flashed to all sections immediately.
Mandrake: (deferentially) Condition Red, sir, yes, jolly good idea. That keeps the men on their toes.
Ripper: Group Captain, I'm afraid this is not an exercise.
Mandrake: Not an exercise, sir?
Ripper: ...It looks like we're in a shooting war.
Mandrake: (politely irritated) Oh hell. Are the Russians involved, sir?
Ripper: ...It just came in on the Red Phone. My orders are for this base to be sealed tight, and that's what I mean to do, seal it tight. Now, I want you to transmit plan R, R for Robert, to the wing. Plan R for Robert...It looks like it's pretty hairy...Now last, and possibly most important - I want all privately-owned radios to be immediately impounded...They might be used to issue instructions to saboteurs. —Dr. Strangelove, or how I stopped worrying and learned to love the bomb.

What on earth makes a man do things to another man, be it brutally ignominious or kind. Seems like he’s always trying to get a leg up, as they say. Or as a dog might to prove who’s the top dog. Maybe it's just the pervasive pursuit of power.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Let’s Win One For The Ripper!

“I'm going to tell you something I've kept to myself for years. None of you ever knew Jack D. Ripper. It was long before your time. But you all know what a tradition he is at Air Force.

And the last thing he said to me, "George," he said, "sometime, when the team is up against it, and the breaks are beating the boys, tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Ripper."

"I don't know where I'll be then, George", he said, "but I'll know about it; and I'll be happy." —George W. Bush inciting his troops

Once in great while, truly heroic steps must be taken to preserve our American way of life and our values, not to mention our precious bodily fluids. Even though we appear to be straying from the course by paying lip-service to modifying our position in Iraq, in reality, not one damn thing has changed. It’s not likely toever.

Friday, December 01, 2006

OK. So What If I Did It? I Did. Doh!

A totally amazed O.J. Simpson caught himself for murder today. He reeanacted the two mysterious thumps on the poolhouse wall, while a blindfolded Kato Kaylin once again proclaimed, “That’s it! That's what I heard. I really wasn't stoned!”

Simpson then proceeded to demonstrate how he brutally slaughtered his wife Nicole and her bandanna-wearing waiter friend, Ron Goldman, while singing the Umpa Lumpa song from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

“Yeah, I did it.I did it and I'm glad! I knew I'd find him on a golf course,” said the victorious Simpson.

Simpson’s attorney, Johnny Cochran couldn't be reached for comment.