Thursday, September 01, 2016

Trump Says He Has “Deep Feelings” 
About The Mexican People
U.S. Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump and Mexico’s President Enrique Pena Nieto
shake hands at a press conference at the Los Pinos residence in Mexico City, Mexico,
August 31, 2016. Photo by Henry Romero/REUTERS

But are his “feelings” deep respect, 

deep fear or deep hatred?

   Donald Trump is acting like a schizophrenic, making nice with President Peña Nieto one second and vomiting all over himself with hatred at one of his "let it all hang out" rallies where his base just loves to hear him tell it like it is!
     Soft-spoken with Peña Nieto, he lied about discussing who would pay for "The Wall." The Mexican President had to Tweet that he had launched thier conversation by pretty much repeating what former President Vincente Fox told CNN, “There is no way we are paying for that f***ing wall!”

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Trump Addresses His Minions.


      On his return form Mexico, Candidate Trump, dispelled all doubts as to his qualifications for President of the United States. He has displayed the monogram of jerk splendidly as he ranted about how much his plan for immigration would divide "them" from "us" in a fifteen of sixteen but who's counting steps that will accomplish everything in a magical brushstroke. 

     He will do this, I can tell you. He believes his program is everything his ego believes it is. This is a madman with words but no facts. Only promises that he cannot possibly keep. 

     He works "while the clock, she's a ticking."

     Nothing but more bullshit from the master of innuendo and tweet.

Don't get me wrong. Hillary is no gem. No diamond in the rough. She is cut with so many facets you can't believe in one of them. However, she is the far superior choice over Trump. A thug and ignoramus who would have us believe he is our savior 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Putin's New Toy


     Nothing would please Vladimir Putin more than having his own hand picked puppet as President of the United States to solidify his position in the annals of American history as the only foreign interloper to control America from Moscow.
     Already he has Trump making overtures to the American people saying. “Wouldn't it be nice if we could get along with Russia?”
     We've gotten along with Russia since before Potsdam and Stalin. We got along with Russia before Lenin didn't get along with Czar Nicholas. We've always gotten along with Russia, but just barely avoiding all out nuclear war. I think we'll continue in this tradition as long as Putin's Puppet is not in the White House!

Thursday, August 04, 2016

Imagine A Future Under A President Trump.



     Now that Trump has been elected President because he out-lied Hillary in both his handling of the economy and his obvious mastery of who would better handle the ISIS problem and get rid of Muslim extremists, our second amendment rights under the Constitution are protected. All those who consider themselves “a well regulated militia" fetch your weapons and stand by!
     You are now being conscripted into the DJT Army of Vengeance, because you know that if Donald gets “hit,” he strikes back, hard. YOU will be his fist, his hammer. There will be boots on the ground in Syria, Libya Somalia, Iran, Iraq, ad nauseam. Our pitifully depleted armed forces will be reconstituted with fresh new bodies when the draft returns.
     Imagine what will happen if Kim Jong Un sends one of his rockets toward Guam or Hawaii trying to get the attention he so frequently pleads for by acting like a petulant child.
     Always remember, in Hitler's Germany, every last man, grandfather and boy was finally conscripted by Hitler to protect the Fatherland and to die for Der Fuehrer.

















Tuesday, August 02, 2016

Trump's Brain Is Missing, Still.

Foaming at the mouth for the 113th consecutive day, the Republican nominee for
President bit the head from a live gerbil and  proceeded to chew on it to
he disgust of the press who were gathered for a press conference.

     “This I will tell you,” said Trump spitting out some gerbil fur, “this is going to be better than anything crooked, evil Hillary can do. This is going to make her puny run for the White House look like those retards in the Special Olympics trying to roll an Easter egg.”
     Mr. Trump, of course, was referring to his widely publicized attempt to build his wall to separate the United States from Mexico using nothing but his own “brain-power.” He ignored questions from the press on how he intended to do this and make Mexico pay for it.
     “I've got enough. You know I do. I have enough brain-power to do this. Brain power. It's what I have. And plenty. Believe me when I tell you. I have got it.
     He then asked if anyone had seen his cheese-straightener.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Introducing The 2016 Republican Ticket

Newly nomnated Donald Trump and Mike Pence embrace in terror
at the prospect of actually being elected to the highest offices in America
An Prospect As Frightful To  Them As It Is To The Rest Of America!


Friday, June 24, 2016

England! What Were You Thinking?


In less time than it takes to sing "God Save The Queen" the English cast their votes, cast the planet into economic chaos and cast their fate to the wind

In a case of apparent buyer's remorse, Britons are Googling to find out exactly what the European Union is and what they can do to correct their faux pas. Unfortunately, it's a done deal. Prime Minister Cameron's remarks about how Donald Trump would unite them all if he came to the British Isles somehow inverted to reflecting exactly how divided the citizens of England are. They are split between the old/wise, young/impatient, educated/intelligent and uneducated/ignorant.

Speaking in Scotland the Donald celebrated by calling Brexit "A great thing!"

Here Trump is seen threatening a deaf piper who dared
to trespass on his golf course to look for golf balls.
Scotland want's to stay in the EU. Big red X over your face Donald. And, no, everyone will not be going to Turnberry. I've never seen so many women walking a golf course in high heels as I witnessed in the media coverage of his golf course opening. Trump should change the name of the course to Turnankle.

Friday, June 03, 2016

Donald Drumpf Who? Oh, Trump Name Change.

    When I was a kid the only Donald I knew was a little shit. He tried to steal my model airplane kits or toys I had with me when I'd visit him after school and hide them under his bed.  He told his mom that they were his. His mom knew better. She would say, "Donald, you know that's not yours. Give it back." He would...then, and only then.
    These days, shits like Donald give nothing back. Their moms are dead and somehow their fathers failed to instill all the little Donalds with a sense of right and wrong or a grasp of morality and justice.

    Even now we live with the possibility that the death warts on the back of his right hand may have driven him beyond his ordinary acquisitive madness we are told could lead to the destruction of the USA if he were to be elected. Many, many doctors have warned that he is seriously mentally ill. That I can tell you. Many doctors.

   Madness. So sorry, America.

Friday, October 09, 2015

Who Makes Up The Lies The Conservatives Tell?

"Entitlement reform: The main driver of our national debt is spending on Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security. These programs provide much-needed benefits for many Hoosiers, and they need to be preserved both for current retirees and future generations. This is not a problem we can continue to ignore, as the Social Security Disability Insurance Program will become insolvent next year. Taking no action will have disastrous consequences for beneficiaries of all these programs."— Sen. Dan Coats
Senator Coats and his conservative allies would have us all believe Medicare and Social Security are largess from the Government and a primary reason for the government deficit. Of the three mentioned entitlements, only medicaid is provided by the state and federal government and benefit the poor only. Medicare and Social Security are funded, NOT by the government, but by ourselves and our employers through payroll taxes. The programs are administered by the government, and if they are going broke, it's because we're paying the administrators too much! Wait a sec, could it be that our trillions in debt just might be because we can't pay for the wars Bush and Cheney started and couldn't finish? Nah, couldn't be.
I'm sick to death of these people believing they can lie to us enough to make us believe this crap while they swim in money from the Koch brothers, slap each other on the back and retire on full pension for screwing over the little guy ignorant enough to send them to Congress.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Rush Limbo; How Low Can He Go?


Rush Limbaugh is about as filthy a human being as you'll ever pull out from under a rock. In this video the self-professed leader of the conservative world makes fun of Japanese refugees who have recycling set up in their refugee amp. He implies that the reason for the earthquake and tsunami was because of the Japanese penchant for creating as much harmony with nature as they can out of the dross of the earth that Gaia smote them.  He's amazed that Diane Sawyer is impressed with their thoughtfulness. He'd probably spit on them.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Good God, John! Get A Grip On Yourself!


Why is this man crying? He cries at the drop of a hat, the nostalgic memories of the drunks at this father's bar, the thought of a homeless puppy, or the picture of a cute little kitten. Ya think maybe he's running for something? He's seen crying in public more than Sarah Palin is seen crowing, and that's saying something.

Please, John, try to stop this public blubbering. Even Rush Limbaugh was the lamenting the chick-i-fying of the men of America, specifically the NFL, as was Laura Ingraham on her show calling American men, “Sissies” while plugging some conservative author's bogus book on the subject.

Real American men may cry, but they don't blubber like fools on camera in front of the nation nearly every day. We'd appreciate a little decorum. For our sake, please excuse yourself and go blubber in the men's room, or if the spirit moves you, the ladies' room.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Toilet Paper Patriots Join Tea Party Patriots; Accuse Obama Of Littering

In a recent development in political parties, The Toilet Paper Patriots have joined forces with the TTP to form an even large cadre of asshole oriented activists. President Judson Phillips, the overwhelming driving force behind the movement said that their objective is to keep big government small, and make small government big so they will be able to control everything.

They are against big government spending, so they are apparently against the national defense, infrastructure, social security, medicare, unemployment insurance, the armed forces, farm subsidies, health, education and welfare of any sort, and repayment of the national debt, among the myriad expenditures the government makes. They are also against all taxes which might create a source of government revenue to pay for the lifestyles to which they've become accustomed. They also appear to be contesting parts of the U.S. Constitution, specifically the 14th amendment.

I, for one, agree with them. We can all go back to the glorious time when we lived in caves and ate raw meat, when the world was a little smaller and more balanced, as we were all third world nations and could compete successfully with other nations for nuts and berries. Where all you needed for the national defense was a good club and a belief that one day you would find the god of fire.

The tree of TP must be fertilized from time to time with the excrement of apoplectic wing-nuts and the tears of the self-righteous.

Friday, December 03, 2010

The GOP Thinks You're Stupid. Well You've Proven Them Right Again!

This post contains very little satire.
John Boehner, drunk as usual.















As it turns out, way back when George Bush was president the groundwork was laid for a terrific ploy by the GOP to create a conundrum that would bamboozle the American people into such contrarian behavior that it makes one's head spin trying to figure out how they were able to pull it off.

No one in the Democratic party wanted the cuts back then, and even Republicans like John McCain said, “I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us, at the expense of middle-class Americans who most need tax relief.” The key seems to lie in the fact that the cuts were mandated to expire in the second year of Obama's presidency creating a time-bomb of damned if you do, damned of you don't, which in either case leaves Democrats holding the bag and the Republicans holding the power.

Now in order to appear to uphold their principles the Democrats are forced to push through the tax cuts for the poor and the middle class at the expense of the ever-draining government coffers. They are ensnared in what Dan Bartlett, one Bush adviser stated, “The fact that we were able to lay the trap does feel pretty good, to tell you the truth.”

Pure chicanery. The canard here seems to be the fact that the GOP will not be able to save their richest friends form having to pay a little extra as they did in the Clinton era. However,  Warren Buffet admits,  "billionaires like me, do not create jobs, do not direct that jobs are created and the money we have makes no difference in job growth. We should be taxed!"Remember that the next time someone mentions "Trickle Down Economics."

Monday, November 22, 2010

Rush Limbaugh Versus The TSA

You may wonder why some one as famous and recognizable as Rush Limbaugh prefers to fly on private jets ( his own) rather than rub elbows with the common rabble of the American people with whom he shares so much and who love and admire him. It's pretty clear from these actual un-retouched photographs from the airport scanner Rush had to pass through on his way back from the Dominican Republic.

Other than the "heat" Rush is packing, it's obvious he doesn't pack much more in the way of a "package" other than his Oxycontin stash. I do see in his right hand pocket, however, the key to his safety deposit box where he keeps his Viagra to help him deal with "shrinkage."

Monday, November 08, 2010

Limbaugh Uses Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals To Push His Agenda Of Hate and Intolerance


Rush Limbaugh has embraced Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, using the tactics put forth for his own nefarious purposes. He especially embraces Rule#5:"Ridicule is mans most potent weapon." There is no defense, it's irrational. It's infuriating it also works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions.

Extreme right-wing-nut types are radicals, too, and they use the same tactics to destroy the country. On purpose!

Saturday, October 02, 2010

The Other America Marches on Washington By Kyle-Anne Shiver

“Yes, folks, there are two Americas: the authentic America of community builders and the other America, made up of socialist group-thinkers, moochers, and no-accounts, many of them living off government grants or welfare checks.”
This is the crap, pun intended, that the wing-nuts want Americans to believe. That these destitute people, n'e'r do wells, if you please,  are being pig-slopped by big government.  The government sees fit to spend their money on people who are, OMG, forgive me, poor, needy and unemployed by the "small businesses” who would rather sit on their money than expand their businesses and hire workers, since "there's nothing in it for me."

There is something in this for the wealthy. The tax payers are investing in keeping the hoards of the destitute away from you door  and murdering you in your sleep.

The other America? Sorry. There is only one America, and I have the feeling you don't belong, Kyle-Ann Shriver. If you need to dissent this much, you should join AlQaida and do what your conscience dictates.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Rush Limbaugh. Big, Fat, Stinking Liar.

I have never seen anyone so worthy of hate in my life. An ego that dwarfs everything and defies all understanding. Posturing fool and buffoon. I can't wait til the democrats carry the day and prove him totally wrong. His new tactic which portrays all conservatives as "normal" people. This is know as "plain folks" propaganda. Learned that in high school about 1961.  He's already been through "glittering generalities" and"name calling."  He's almost out of tactics and can only hope the morons comprising the tea-bag movement don't catch on and stay stupid.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Blowhard And His Beard




Rush Limbaugh demonstrates his understanding of the universal symbol for lesbian sex.

Prior to this he demonstrated his understanding of male homosexual sex by flipping the camera  a two handed middle finger. During his post-nuptial celebration, Limbaugh also demonstrated his ability to dance by bumping and grinding his way out of his hotel suite with what he refers to as “Rush's Little Helpers,” his bottle of 200 mg Viagra® tablets.

Citing his independent scorekeeper on his correctness, Rush noted that he's always about 99.6 percent correct in as much as he never really says anything that is not some outlandish opinion or lie and could in no way be construed or misconstrued as the truth. He's only pronounced a few words wrong since his program started which accounts for the .4% discrepancy.

“I sure can talk some shit, though,” he observed.

He and his bride then retired to separate rooms.


Sunday, August 08, 2010

The Tolerance Of Our Great Country And The Guarantee By Our Constitution To Freedom Of Religion...

 
Of all religions, the Christian should of course inspire the most tolerance, 
but until now Christians have been the most intolerant of all men.”—Voltaire
 
 ...seem to be having a conflict with some people who believe this is not the land of the free and the home of the brave, but the land of the tea (party) and the home of the knave. The incredible intolerance of this movement against the freedom to practice religion as the worshipper sees fit, seems to be based on a long standing and incorrect belief that this country was founded and controlled and populated by white Anglo-Saxon Protestants of impeccable European extraction.

Led by none other than this man, Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich, product of a broken home and many sordid affairs and faux pas including asking his wife hospitalized and recovering from cancer surgery for a divorce, the movement thumbs their collective noses at the Constitution in favor of their esoteric beliefs that theirs is the only true God.

Hello?  Would you trust this man with your daughter or your religion...or for that matter your country? The problem with snake oil salesmen is not just the salesman himself, but what he puts into the product. It could be harmful or fatal if swallowed. Assholes like Gingrich don't come with a warning or the phone number of your local poison control center.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Laura Ingraham Masturbates On The Radio




































Radio talk show host and self proclaimed conservative diva, Laura Ingraham fondled herself in public again. Laughing her way around the country on her book promotion tour, the opinionated purveyor of right wing nuttiness screeched her harpy harangues over the airwaves to her own great joy and satisfaction.

Not only did her lewd behavior entertain her faithful fan base, but it also allowed her a venue from which she could launch attacks on liberals because of the way they look, sweat, smell or sound. Her weapons of shrieks and cheap shots keep everyone in stitches.

If Laura thinks she's a wit, she may be half right.

Monday, July 05, 2010

Limbaugh Craves Wedded Bliss For The Fourth Time

Rush Limbaugh opens his whale-like maw to show the piece of raw meat he's chewing on to keep him from chewing his new bride.  Blind since birth, Rush's wife, the former Kathryn Rogers, decided to give up her guide dog in favor of Rush who likes to get down on all fours scamper around the bedroom barking like a doggy. Rush confided that he likes to drink out of the toilet and have "accidents" on the living room carpet. This is Rush's fourth attempt at married life. We all continue to wish him well and continued success. On the other hand, it may not take Kathryn that long to figure out why his first three wives left him and wound up with nice, fat alimony checks. God knows he can afford it.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Limbaugh Oinks His Way Back From His Honeymoon With An Attitude About Kids


Rush Limbaugh is uninformed, arrogant, ignorant and vicious. He thinks he is buying lunches for hungry children and hates it, yet he'll blow a million dollars to have Elton John sing at his wedding. What a disgusting, pompous, fat ass. It's not that parents are allowing their children to starve. It's merely that they cannot afford to feed them. Fat rich bastards like Rush couldn't possibly understand.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Obama Tells Rush Limbaugh To "Play With Himself!"

Wearing his semen encrusted golfing shorts, Rush Limbaugh stalks toward an intrepid photographer to demand the film from his digital camera. Rush has continued to play with himself, after President Obama denied him an opportunity to play golf  with him. Since his arrest bringing someone else's prescription  for Viagra into the country from the Dominican Republic, Rush has been seen repeatedly spanking his monkey on the golf course.

When reached for comment, Limbaugh began thrusting his pelvis, grunting, "Uhl, uhl, uhl!"

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Imbecilic Hoosier Republicans Nominate North Carolinian Lobbyist To Be Their Candidate For State Senator Senator In Fall Elections

In an unprecedented action, thousands of Hoosiers went to the polls in the primary elections to pick their candidates for all sorts of offices in this fall's election. Among the stupidest moves was the nomination of Dan Coats for GOP candidate for the Senate. Coats, who was born in Michigan, educated in Illinois and received a law degree from Indiana University because it was cheaper there, has distinguished himself as an anti-gun, pro-life, pro big banking politician who once claimed that he questioned Bill Clinton's timing of the attacks on terrorist bases in Afghanistan to divert attention from his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

He served briefly as a senator from Indiana while he was robbing people in Fort Wayne  disguised as a lawyer.

George Bush made him an ambassador to Germany where he pre-rubbed Angela Merkel's shoulders.

When he'd had enough of that gig he became a lobbyist for the banking industry where he could make really big money, and has been extremely influential for the likes of Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, our old friend Chrysler and was instrumental creating the TARP fund which bailed out the banks with money he found in the taxpayers' pockets. And because he was a resident of North Carolina, the morons of Indiana want him for their Senator. He is expected to beat the blue dog democratic party candidate, Brad Ellsworth in the fall general elections.

Obviously, the press honored Coats' request, and not one imbecile in Indiana knew that he was really from North Carolina.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Congressional Bathroom Humor

Mitch McConnell, imbecile senator from Kentucky and his girlfriend John "The Bone" Bohner are all smiles while they take a break from saying, "No!" to the democrats and the country and head to the men's room for a little wide stance drill in the Congressional rest room.

The republicans have steadfastly refused to even bring the bill to reform Wall Street to the senate floor for discussion leading the world to believe that they have something to preserve or gain by allowing the tycoons from the financial district to keep giving them money.

When asked what it would take to get the republicans to open debate on the topic of financial reform, Bohner said, “About a $1,500,000, give or take.”

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Travelin’ On With The Taliban, Or How I Plan To Spend My Summer Vacation By Hamid Karzai



In an announcement that surprised practically no one, Hamid Karzai said that if he was pushed around by the international community, specifically the United States, he was going to run away from home and join the circus.

An aid and close confident to Karzai said he saw the Mayor of Kabul looking wistful and packing a bandanna with toothpaste, toilet paper and a few boxes of Capn' Crunch along with a "football" of cash. He also assured the world community, that, “Karzai’s serious, damn it. Come on, guys, honest, he really means it! If you don’t believe me, he will break your back across his knee... like so!”

On his way out the door, Karzai waved to the media and said, “Hakka durka, hakka durka.”

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Sarah Palin Says John McCain Spent 5 Years As A POW So You Have The Right To Free Speech.

John McCain threw up in his mouth when she said that. Cindy thought it was funny because she knew he spent five years as a POW because he got shot down over a rice paddy and got captured.

Nothing really ever occurred as a result of his spending all that time there. Certainly nothing to do with the first amendment to the constitution. His bones healed funny and the NVA and the VC got a good confession out of him as a war criminal for dropping bombs on civilians. THAT came from that.

He stayed there for 5 years because his chances of being court martialed because of his confession upon his release were pretty big then. Besides, his first wife had gained weight since he went away and didn't suit him so he divorced her when he finally did get home so he could get back to his wild life of drinking and whoring.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Rush Limbaugh Continues His Tirade

Rush Limbaugh's mouth is getting ahead of his brain lately. He advocates obeying the law, tells a law student to emulate the 60s, go out and smoke marijuana and , who knows, maybe Obama will come out and smoke pot with you, then catches himself advocating breaking the law and backs down. Problem is he's already said what he wants the ditto-heads to hear and act on, but has absolved himself of any wrongdoing.

This guy is a real sack of poop, spreading filth and lies for the benefit of his own enrichment and engorged ego.

P.T. Barnum was wrong a lot less than Limbaugh claims to be.