Sunday, October 21, 2007

Armenian Genocide. It Didn’t Happen There, It Can’t Happen Here.

Yes! It's true. It was the shifty-eyed Armenians, who like the Jews, got a hold of some Photoshop® applications and, can you believe it, INVENTED the Armenian Genocide by clever photo-manipulation.

George W Bush, in a rare fit of understanding, concurred, citing the possibility that Turkey might present a greater threat than Communist China when it comes to his pissing off a foreign nation with over 1,321,851,888 people ready and eager to throw away their lives should their regime ask. He then presented the Dali Lama with the Congressional Gold medal for coming in first or something.

Contacted in his grave, Abdul Gamal Attaturk, spun a few times and said, “Thank you, MeesterBoosh! You are the one true friend that Turkey can always depend on. Our human rights record remains impeccable. Give our mutual friend Mahmood Amadinajad my best regards. He is some poofter you bet.”

I just wonder where all those extra heads came from. Must have been a sale at Big Lots.

Proud Turkish officers pose with the actual re-touched Photoshop® retouched heads of Armenian leaders in Yerevan. This picture was never taken.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

The Truth Shall Set You Free, Probably Along With A Little Arbeit.

The Armenian Genocide is known to Holocaust experts as Hitler's Blueprint. In 1938 when talking about his plan to exterminate the Jews he said "after all who ever speaks of the Armenians" and then added "no one remembers the Armenians no one will remember the Jews."*

The Turks refusal to admit to the Armenian Genocide is outrageous. Just as outrageous is our country’s perpetual inability to embrace what is so obviously true. Let’s just admit it and let the chips fall where they may. Who need a bunch of Islamist idiots with their heads up their asses for friends. We already have plenty of right wing chicken-hawk, neo-conservative, bible-thumping Republican zealots for “friends.”

*Lifted from a comment on “Politco” by one Wendyagogo (screen name)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

New Age Turks Gin Up Opportunity For Genocide.

Looking real please with herself, Condi Rice says the Armenian Genocide never happened. Our heroic President and his Secretary of State stood firm in the face of a resolution from the Foreign Affairs Committee condemning the Armenian Genocide and condemned, to no avail, the resolution. But they couldn’t save the Kurds from a Turkish invasion.

Turkey Resolves to Give Go-Ahead for Raids in Iraq!

Kurds will be likely victims of Turkish incursion and new genocide in northern Iraq. Betcha the Turks can kill more Kurds than Saddam did. And they taste just like chicken!

Whadaya Mean, Bill Of Rights?

Someone once said, “If you give up your freedom for security, you deserve neither!” George W. Bush likes the idea that you would have you give up both so that he, the decider, can conclude how the American people should be secured and how much he can hide under your bed. That’s called “Power.”

And as we know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'd rather fight them here when it comes right down to it. Maybe the neo-con chickenhawks might actually feel threatened enough to get out from behind their hate-filled microphones and try a little cooperation with the real world.

Evidently the FBI has been spying on American citizens even before 9/11. That should make people like Rush Limbaugh proud. It could also give him pause if they find his internet and phone records show he’s been have sex with little boys from the Dominican Republic.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Ann Coulter Farts In Your General Direction...

Contemptible publicity grabber, Ann Coulter has written another book, “If Democrats Had Any Brains, They’d Be Republicans.” This exhibitionist cranks out more pulp and prevarication than any author alive. I don’t know how many different ways a person can say the same stupid things, but she probably holds the Guiness World Record. Despite the obvious, as noted above, she rarely turns the other cheek.

And, yes, even her breath smells like methane.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Putting Lipstick On A Pig.

“Evil is whatever distracts.” —Franz Kafka
At least the Bush Administration attempts to make the news palletable by putting a better looking face than Tony Snow’s on it. However, it doesn’t make the news any truer. In fact the spin is mostly simple obfuscation:

Q I guess the point is that if the senior administration official told us on a conference call that these methods wouldn't be used, why won't you say whether or not head-slapping, waterboarding, would be used?

MS. PERINO: I don't believe that I -- I'm not in a position to be able to do that. I am not going to comment on specific techniques. And if there's -- I don't know who that individual was, and maybe you can follow up with them and get more.

Q But your point is that you're giving away things to the enemy, but it was okay for someone to do it, but not okay for you to do it? Or are you just --

MS. PERINO: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who was on the conference call. I don't -- what I -- I know what I know, which is that techniques that we use are classified, and classified for a reason. To the extent that there was one ruled out, then so be it. But I'm not going to comment on others.

Q And you won't say whether waterboarding is being ruled out, or head-slapping has been ruled out?

MS. PERINO: I'm not going to comment on those.

Q What is your definition of "torture?"

MS. PERINO: Well, that's clearly spelled out in the -- in the Detainee Treatment Act, and interpreted under the December 2004 opinion that governs, and has governed -- and if you look at the footnote from that opinion, governs all subsequent opinions that have been made by the Justice Department.

Q And has -- have any attacks been averted since President Bush revealed the existence of his program, because terrorism suspects have been held in the program?

MS. PERINO: I don't know, Toby. It's not -- I can tell you that General Hayden and Fran Townsend, the President's National -- Homeland Security and Counterterrorism Advisor, have said that this program continues to save lives. When we can, we declassify information so that we can provide it to you. But right now I don't have any to provide.
There’s nothing like appearing to give information while providing absolutely nothing of substance. What a waste of time.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Bush Abdicates! Returns To Nature.

“Some people think I’ve gone bananas,” said George Bush from his new cave where he and a pretty little chimp named Fuzzy are spending an ersatz abba dabba honeymoon away from the public eye for the first time since his last visit to Crawford. “I couldn’t get that cute little Condi to come with me cause she can’t shop for shoes in the jungle.”

“Hell, Pickles doens’t mind me doin’ a little swingin’,” he added missing his own pun, “she’s spent more time at the Mayflower hotel lately than the concierge who runs the joint.”

Monday, October 08, 2007

How To Get A Trophy Wife.

Laura Ingraham talks to Fred Thompson regarding his conservative style. Always the gentleman, Fred surprised her by giving he a severe tongue-lashing until she cried out with what could only be construed as pleasure, screaming, “Power to the people!”.

Later, Laura confessed that she wasn’t in the least surprised at Fred’s technique for acquiring a wife less than half his age.

“If he weren’t taken,” announced Laura, “I’d certainly consider riding him for a couple of laps.”

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Hi! Remember Me? I’m The Guy With The Mysteriously Disappearing WMDs. And I’m Dead. How Did All That Shit Go Down?

Betrayal is the only truth that sticks. —Arthur Miller

My good friend Donald Rumsfeld sold me a lot of shit back when he worked for Ronald Regan. That’s what we used up fighting the Iranians. Thats when they disappeared. And word has it that it was the Iranians who gassed the Kurds. Not me. Back then America liked us and we like them. In fact, they eve liked and supported, Osama Bin Laden in his fight against the Soviets in Afghanistan.


Hey, “it’s a crazy world. Somebody ought to sell tickets.”* Oh, well, I guess I'll be dead for a while now and be quiet like everybody wants. It’s hard, sometimes, to know who your friends really are.

Rummy and Saddam close the deal.
*from Raising Arizona

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Baby Face Bush On Crime Spree! Runs Amok! Unstoppable!

Senate Democratic and Republican leaders have lined up all the singing fat ladies they can find, but no one seems able to stop the Bush juggernaut from rolling onward. The din in the Senate chambers is deafening.

“We’re doomed!” Harry Reid was heard to utter as Rush Limbaugh ground out his cigar in the senator’s eye.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Work, Work, Work, Hello, Boys!

It’s hard work, doin’ hard work and by golly this is hard work. That irresponsible Democrat Congress is wearin’ on me. I cain’t help it I spent all that money on Iraq and have nothing to show for it. Gotta show some phisical responsibility. Why I coulda took all that money down to the track, doubled it, and put it back in the cookie jar before Pickles even knew it was gone.

Shee-it! Now everybody gonna think I hate kids. Well, I do. Let the little brats work for their health insurance like I did. What? OK. So I didn't have to. So what?