Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Think I Found Someone To Sue...uh, Maybe...

“Don't get mad. Get everything! ” —Ivana Trump

Now, if I could only find an English solicitor who would work for free! My flaming minions and I would be rich and famous and hold dominion over the world! Someone would finally notice me. My life would be complete.

I am persecuted, reviled and besmirched. My reputation suffers from the slings and arrows of the truth, and they called me names.

Laugh at me, will they? These insults are almost as real if not entirely imagined. My enemies will pay!

I will have my revenge! Bwah,hahahahahahahah!
Uh, oh. Is that someone at the door?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Why Would Haitians Make A Pact With This Man?

Because he's the only one who knows about the deal. I mean, Napoleon lived a long time ago, and those who bargained with the devil to throw off the yoke of French oppression are certainly long dead.

But the devil is obviously immortal and is alive and well in the likes of Pat Robertson. This filthy minded, self-righteous hypocrite dares to tempt God’s hand with his blasphemy? If there were a God, Robertson would be dead. That he’s alive proves God’s non-existence.

This creepy wad of filth belongs under a ten ton block of concrete, conscious and aware, with his life oozing out of his ears.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Rush Limbaugh Damns Obama To Hell, Gets There First. Congratulates Himself On His Prescience.

Nauseating windbag and inveterate bigot, Rush Limbaugh, continues his vendetta against President Obama and his efforts to bring order to a badly fragmented country. Ever delighting in his growing power over the mental midgets of this country, Limbaugh constantly hectors the President and purveys the selfish conservative values which have made this country the laughingstock of humanity.

Proclaiming that Obama is deliberately ruining the country "on purpose" sounds like Darren McGavin telling his wife she used up all the glue in Christmas Story. Limbaugh points to the president’s efforts to provide health care for the country as some sort of monstrous plot, his efforts to stimulate the economy as the “pork-u-lous” bill, a strange thing for a greedy pig like Rush to say.

He blames all of America’s ills on Obama rather than the selfish goals of people like himself, who through chicanery and exploitation of those less intelligent and more in need, continue to pull the wool over almost everyone’s eyes.

Of what possible use is the destruction of this country to President Obama? To what end does it benefit anyone?