Monday, April 21, 2008

He Feels Bad

Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. —William Shakespeare

But I believe you underestimate the deep currents of empathy and humanity that course beneath this Great Man's unshakable frame, and the heatbreaking [ain that wracks him as the granite wheels of responsibility and necessity press ever more heavily upon the steely ingot of his...

Fuck. Never mind. He's an asshat.

Tip of the hat to Systempunkt, Writer Extrodinaire, for the above prose I stole from his e-mail.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Bitter Clinton Takes Drink, Pulls Gun During Indiana Stump.

“My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.—Winston Churchill

An obviously bitter and mean-spirited Hillary Clinton began drinking early last Saturday evening on her stump through Crown Point, Indiana.

Those people in central Pennsylvania that Senator Obama talked about have nothing on me, crowed a bellicose Clinton , slapping her thigh, drawing a Smith and Wesson .357.

“When I was a young girl, my daddy took me out behind the shed and showed me how to use one of these,” she said, twirling the weapon on a finger. Then, tossing a silver dollar into the air, she fired, and producing a shower of two quarters, one nickel and three pennies.

Knocking back Crown Royal® and slugging down beer with the boys is just another reason why liberal women are more fun than the conservative right-wing-nut prudes, carrying their bibles, squealing about abortion, dressed in their corsets, lace collars and floor length skirts. Reason being, liberal women stand for “change.”