Thursday, August 30, 2007

I’m Sick To Death Of Crock Stars Stealing Our Future!

Does America really want this asshole to be President? The large hairy one on the right with the piano legs and the chipmunk face (Or any of the other assholes we‘re being offered as candidates.) Wouldn't you rather have your best friend or even your barber, pharmacist, or other professional in control of this freakin' out-of-control juggernaut? Who are these people who believe they are competent enough to run this country? Let me give you a clue. They’re nobody. They came out of the same place we all come from, only they tell you they’re better than you, so naturally you believe them; that they are without question the deluxe solution to what ails America. After all, they’re on TV all the time. They’re news!

Here are the vainly ridiculous Dems congratulating themselves on their mind-reading prowess. They actually knew that the American people wanted them to take charge of Congress and do even less than the previously Republican controlled Congress.

And what’s wrong with the following pictures?

“But seriously, folks, You’ve been a great crowd. I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your server.”

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Pssssst! You In The Stall. Wanna Play Homo?

“Can I swallow now?”

Senator Larry Craig is not gay. He went on TV yesterday and told us all...three times. And he emphasizes that he did nothing wrong in Minneapolis in that stall at the airport. Uh-huh, you bet. Like most self-righteous sons-of-bitches he is not only a liar, but a hypocrite. Also looks like he’s got a mouth full of hot man-yogurt

And he drags his poor wife out with him to endure the humiliation of his non-confession and laughable excuse regarding the pressure from the “Statesman” and it’s investigation of his fitness to serve being responsible for his soliciting gay butt-sex from an undercover cop in a public restroom. Obviously he did not consummate his heart’s desire. He got busted before he could get his jollies off.

“Book him, Danno. Lewdo one.”

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Ted Nugent Goes Mad...OK, Madder

Here, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama discuss ways or taking revenge against Ted “Machine-gun” Nugent. Referred to as a “piece of shit” by Nugent, Obama has declined to suck on Teddy’s machine gun, even if it’s not loaded. Mr. Obama instead drew an analogy between men who drive red sports cars and carry large caliber weapons to make up certain inadequacies in their anatomy.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton, to whom the “Nuge” referred as a “worthless bitch” may be sending Ted a visit from the secret service and her attorney to establish a financial basis for the intrinsic worth of her “worthless” persona since he apparently threatened both Obama’s and her life in his rant.

Heeeeeeere’s Teddy!
When reached for comment, Mr. Nugent said, “Oops. What I meant to say was, If I kill them I will definitely eat them. I don't waste meat. Why, I've got an entire walk-in, Subzero™ freezer full of deer, elk and illegal Mexican aliens.”

Cheney Conjours Superfuel, Loses Soul.

“It’s OK,” said the Vice President. It was made worth my while. And I have a new granddaughter that looks like Rosemary's baby. How lucky can a feller get? Plus I get to watch all that hot girl on girl action while I babysit. Yowzir, Yowzir, Yowzir!

“Lynne’s even working on a new book called Menage รก Trois,” added his satanic majesty, chuckling and biting off a chicken head.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Dems On Energy Bill

Amusing. The following was lifted out of context from the Republican “House Energy Action Team” web page:

“When you produce energy at home, a couple important things happen. First, you control the terms of production instead of the Saudi royal family. Second, you create wealth here at home by creating new jobs – jobs directly related to energy production as well as the inevitable spin-offs that come with it. And third, you give yourself a chance to influence the price and create a stable marketplace that can survive the volatility brought on by natural disasters and world events.

Maybe that’s why Congressman Peterson filed an amendment to the Interior bill yesterday to lift the federal ban on producing natural gas offshore – an effort a vast majority of Democrats voted down after citing concerns about natural gas spills ruining the environment.

But exactly how do you spill natural gas?”

Rising natural gas prices are driving U.S. industries away, Peterson said during floor debate yesterday. "It is absolute insanity for America to starve itself of the clean, green fuel that has never spoiled a beach," Peterson said. "It has never washed up onshore. It's a gas."

You have to wonder about democrats sometimes.