Sunday, December 06, 2009

Woods of Metal. Feet of Clay.

Oh, how the mighty are fallen. However it only goes to show you how hypocritical the human beast is.

The other lesson to be learned here, once again, and perhaps the most importantly, is that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially if she is wielding a golf club.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sarah Does It Again!

As is her wont to do, Sarah Palin has gone hog wild once again with a big book-tour, kicking off her 2012 presidential run only a “smidgen” early. When asked why she had beaten her deadline by nearly six months and was promoting the book so soon, Sarah said, “I like money.”

When asked if anyone would remember her in 2012, her reply was, “Yah, you betcha!”

Then she did what her slogan said, and the crowd went wild. The rest is history.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Anticipating 2012

Open season on wolves. Shooting them from aircraft is really sporting. Well maybe not so sporting as viciously cruel. It would be too bad if Sarah got lost in the woods without her rifle. I wonder what kind of bounty one of her severed legs brings?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Rush Limbaugh Is Dying For Your Sins!

A tearful Rush Limbaugh, weeping inconsolably, went on the air during his radio show at the EIB network choking back tears and racist epithets. His weeping was for himself and his suffering at the hands of the NFL and it players who refused to support his bid of ownership. When reached for comment, deceased NFL union president Gene Upshaw said, “I feel bad for Rush’s dream of owning the Rams, but most of the black players in the NFL long ago grew tired of his racist remarks, and being owned by a white man still kinda goes against the grain, if you know what I mean.”

Nonetheless, Rush soldiered on ranting against all manner of enemies, real and imagined. Tearfully thanking all his supporters, athletic and family and blaming the war on “conservatism.” He now calls everyone a racist. If you attack Rush, you are a racist. And any of these racists who attack him are attacking you leas those dim bulbs who listen to him.

In case you didn't know Rush, your party and the conservatives actually lost the election. Leader of the Republican party or not, Rush, you lost, and you will lose again because about 60% of this country is for success of both Obama and the country you claim has been hi-jacked “on purpose.” Purpose being, according to you, that this is a great conspiracy designed to ruin the country. I ask you what possible purpose could that be. It’s the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot before you run the marathon. I believe Mr. Linbaugh is truly as insane as his wanna be cohort, Glenn Beck, the other FOX crybaby.

Go froth and mortify, Rush. Self-pity really becomes you.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Glenn Beck Really Is Insane! No. Really!

Anyone who can go from saying, from his own personal experience, that the United States has the worst health care in the world to a complete about face to say it has the best health care in the world to serve his own purpose is not only a manifest liar, but a lunatic. I say that primarily because he tearfully believes what he is saying to be the truth.

His poor drug and alcohol addled brain has him sobbing about his great patriot dreams while he gets mad as hell and is not gonna take it anymore without really ever explaining what it is he ain’t gonna take.
And anyone who can single-handedly lose over 60 sponsors for his network has got to be a horrible liability. The mere fact that he's not quaking in his boots, pissing and shitting in terror, has me convinced that he is truly a nut-job.

You wanna keep that sacred underwear clean now, ya hear, Glenn?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It’s Good To Be Him.

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance
when the need for illusion is deep.”
—Saul Bellow

The inordinate amount of power this genius wields over the under-educated American is frightening. The police blotters are full of this type of moronic, knee-jerk reactionary bumpkin. The rest of them are making their homes at Town Hall meetings, yelling, carrying guns and generally making a public nuisance of themselves.

Thanks, Rush. You tie half your brain behind your back and laugh all the way to the bank because, even as a brain damaged moron, you can still outwit these imbeciles and make them believe your impossible lies. Hope that cyst on your butt never heals. If it does, you'll be mute the rest of your life.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Bull Goose Looney Steps Out, Calls It Quits!

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.—Vince Lombardi

It’s strange to see how others see themselves. I'm sure Robert Burns would be amused with Sarah Palin. The self-delusional governor of Alaska threw it all in the dumper in what William Kristol referred to as “crazy like a fox” ramblings, in an incoherent speech. The speech , if indeed it can be called that, was insane from the aspect that she didn't have to raise all the questions. No one would have suspected lame duck or quitter if she hadn’t said anything about them. Same withFBI investigations.

Obviously she couldn't take the heat, so she left the kitchen to go fishing for sockeye salmon. Makes a lot of sense for an ambitious narcisist with a hand full of gimme and a mouth full of much obliged. And to blame the blogs and the press for picking on her and her family when it's only a natural feeding frenzy that every controversial public figure has to suffer, is beyond comprehension. I guess she deserved better.

And if she thinks she's gonna make a comeback from nowhere in 2012, she is truly a whack-job!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Bernie Madoff, The Man Who Screwed A Nation

This is the face that launched a thousand fits. The crook of all time. His attorneies were hoping to get him off with twelve years. Boy, were they surprised. 150 big ones is what Judge Chin handed Bernie. Guess he'll never see the promised land again.

And no remorse. He'd do it all over again if he had the chance, and since his wife, Ruth, ends up with $2.5 million more than any of his victims, I'm sure she'd do it all again as well. It also sounds like Bernie was actually doing it all over the place, too, according to his little black book filled with masseuses. He's gonna enjoy the big house big time, something tells me. Or it him.

Friday, May 22, 2009

This Man IS A War Ciminal

To be arrested on sight. Dick Cheney should be handcuffed and manacled, taken to a prison and water boarded until he confesses to his crimes, then put on a Lear jet and sent directly to the Hague to stand trial. I believe he might admit that water boarding is actually torture if his pacemaker doesn't blow a gasket and kill him first. After having his fair trial, he should be hanged.

As Jesse Ventura said, “Give me Dick Cheney, a board, a bucket of water and one hour and I'll have him confessing to the murder of Sharon Tate.”

Evil, pure and simple. This man has no soul.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Limbaugh Pukes The Truth

The main problem with Rush Limbaugh's truth is that it is a lie. Our former Vice President and war criminal, Dick Cheney thinks he's a better Republican that Colin Powell, former general and Secretary of State.

As spokesman for selfish wastefulness, Rush has done a magnificent job of fomenting dissent throughout the nation. As self-proclaimed champion of all seven deadly sins, Limbaugh lauds the abuse of energy, urging people to keep their lights on constantly, turn up their heat till they roast in the winter, turn down the AC til their houses frost over in the summer and drive the biggest gas guzzlers in the world to use up all the gas and pollute the atmosphere until the sky turns the color of raw umber. (For those of you in Rio Linda, that's yellow-brown.)

This human wad of filth and phlegm denigrates anyone with a different viewpoint than his own and insists that he and all his capitalist rapist buddies, those captains of industry who curse the unions and use the common worker to their own ends are responsible for any greatness this country may claim to. This bat-wing puking fat-cat pretends to be one of the little people so he can sell you Bellau Wood flooring, Zicam®, Sleep Number ™ beds, and whatever automotive Behemoth GM makes in order to be paid $400 million on his contract with Clear Channel Radio.

He does this all with the utmost humility, his psyche handicapped by having half his brain tied behind his back and his intellect on load from God. Just don't stand in his way when he wants to tell you the truth.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The GOP Has Found Its Voice At Last

I guarantee he speaks for all conservatives, all the noble Americans who espouse life, liberty and the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Yes, none other than Rush Phlegmball speaks for you, speaks for me. Not those long-haired maggot infested liberals who want to take over your country. Problem is it's their country too, and judging by the election last fall, about 56% of the entire country voted for the man Rush would like to fail. It would appear he wants the country to fail as well. What could a president possibly hope to gain by destroying his own country, I ask myself. Absolutely nothing. If Obama fails, we all fail. Oh, maybe not Rush. After all he's got his sweet deal and $400 million. He's also got a private jet and the Dominican Republic and all those wonderful boys are not that far away. If you've got money, who needs a country?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Rüsh Never Stops. The National Conservative Party Never Stops!

Conservatism equates with your basic preservation of a national system. Nationalism. You love your country. To the point that you will try to destroy anything that would attempt to change your myopic, narrow-minded view of the world. You have an opinion, and unfortunately for you, it is so limited in scope that you can and will not see the future. In other words, you are doomed.

You flounder about in your own excrement. You curse what is and pine for what you never had. You are alone with your greatest enemy, yourself...and you hate it worse than death.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Limbaugh Becomes A Neighborhood Organizer In Somalia

Yes, it's official. Rush Limbaugh has decided to forgo his lucrative $400 million job as a talk show host behind the golden EIB microphone to join up with Somali youths in an effort to convince young Somalis to join the maritime recruitment movement of that country.

As the primary advocate for the conservative, capitalist lifestyle, Rush is expecting as many as seven recruits to be persuaded by his hyperbole and join his cause against the President of the United States and his vicious handling of innocent teenagers. Rush has suffered some disappointments lately, especially in the area of only being able to convince three people to wish failure for our new and untested president.

“I’m expecting to get a lot of mileage out of this one,” said Rush. “A few nautical miles, anyway.”

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Limbaugh Sides With Priates Against Obama

In a surprise move, Rush Limbaugh shocked the country by branding Barrack Obama a murderer for ordering the deaths of Somali Muslim pirates. The great windbag portrayed the pirates as teenage wannabe maritime recruiters for the country of Somalia. They only want to keep their country safe from invaders.

Rush maintains that the media would have proclaimed Bush a murderer for doing the same, so he sees nothing wrong with applying his aberrant logic to our current president's desire to end piracy on the high seas and save a captain's life.

I haven't heard Rush's solution to the problem, but I'm sure it has something to do with suing Al Gore for pushing global warming and paying ransom to the Somali teenagers out of his own swollen wallet.

Thanks, Rush. You're a saint.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Rush Limbaugh, America's Only Hope

That's nice, because with him, we are doomed. We're condemned to drink the Kool-Aid he purveys so that we may all become good conservatives just like him. We must hope that Obama's policies fail, so Sarah Palin can seize power and lead us on aerial wolf hunts and abortion clinic bombings and doctor murders. Yeah, right.

All hail the lovable little fuzzball. Look at him, children. He's as ugly as the lies he spreads!

You Betcha! Yah!

Sarah Palin is the biggest pain in the neck. She simply will not go away. She seems to generate great interest among the great hordes of Republicans who have nothing to live for. Their party has no one to whom the hopeless can turn except for the likes of Rush Slimeball to lead their cause.

Because she talks funny, Sarah holds their rapt attention. She is hard to understand and one needs great concentration to translate the accent into cogent English. If she is the best they've got, I really feel sorry for their plight in 2012. And poor Trig will be dragged around on the stage for years like the stage prop he's become.

The saddest thing is that she actually believes she's got a chance to be president. Yikes!

Friday, February 27, 2009

Who Is Sarah Palin And Why Does She Keep Coming Back?

More than slightly mild retardation, seems to run in the Palin family. Sarah herself seems to be no exception to the malaise. Given that her son Trig, no doubt named for a either part of a gun or Roy Roger’s horse, has Downes syndrome, but she herself has displayed some remarkable lack of intellectual capacity during interviews.

One nagging question remains to be answered, however. Why doesn’t she retreat into obscurity? Better yet, run. Why doesn’t the Democratic party in Alaska find someone to run against her for governor? She couldn't be that difficult to beat. When 2012 rolls around who’s going to draft her from the daycare center she’ll no doubt be running?

Why would the Republican party even want to touch this airborne wolf-sniper and knot of banal, redneck outrage?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Former Treasury Secretary Paulson Apologizes For Being A Bad Boy, Then Laughs

Called before an angry congressional committee to explain what he was thinking, former Secretary of the Treasury, Hank Paulson explained that he got scared that the American people would find out that he and Bernanke were merely performing slight of hand and prestidigitation while addressing the imminent collapse of the banking system. He said he also saw nothing wrong with taking care of a few old friends with a few billion dollars on his way out the door that “no one will ever miss.’

He also said that creating currency by government fiat was stupid and would never work, even though that’s what the government has been doing since the country went off the gold standard in August of 1971.

“In essence,” stated Paulson, “we’re doomed. Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Friday, February 13, 2009

Ann Coulter, Insignificant Insect & Menace To The Truth

Prolific author, plagiarist and voter fraud felon is celebrating having her jaw un-wired. In fact she crammed 3 gob-stoppers, 2 un-shelled walnuts and a three-foot flourescent light tube into her prodigious maw. After chewing for ten minutes, Coulter spit out the splinters and pronounced she was ready to take on Noam Chomsky, but only if he chews on razor blades first.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Comrade Beck Threatens Us All.

As is his usual hammy blather, once again the Limbaugh wannabe is ranting about socialism. It’s OK for George Bush to give the banks $350 billion, but should Barrack Obama see fit to keep the ball rolling, Beck skips the socialism gambit and goes for the dreaded triple-dog-dare of communism!

This pygmy among men, this pig among pigs, must get on the bandwagon with Limbaugh, Hannity et al, to hope that Obama fails. Good, nay, great Americans one and all.

They have already failed not only their viewers and fans. They’ve failed their country. To think that these conservative, capitalistic windbags have anyone but themselves in mind is to be oblivious to the avarice, greed and evil that began this horrible slide into what well may be the end of civilization as we know it. Welcome to the third world, Glenn.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Rush Limbaugh Invites Underage Kids Onto His Private Plane.

Rush Limbaugh in a vain attempt to assuage the ire of parents and teachers at a Minnesota elementary school where someone ran his commentary on the inauguration of President Barrack Obama, said that he’d invited fifteen of the young students to fly on his private jet. Rush vehemently tried to justify his disrespectful comments concerning the newly sworn in president, but seemed to fail miserably short of his goals saying that nobody ever really listens tohim in context. Rush’s self destructive tendencies seem to be alienating many people these days. The school principal declined the offer, citing Rushes fondness for small boys from the Dominican Republic.

Rush spent most of the day today trying to further divide the conservatives from the liberals in this country, by giving his now tiresome warnings of socialism. Proud to be a capitalist, the great man speculated on how happy he’d be not to have to pay taxes on his $400 million which has dwindled to about $300 million in the past 6 months, if only someone would be kind enough to keep all those poor people with torches and pitchforks from coming to his door.

“You’d think they were hungry, wanted an education, some health care, a place to sleep or something,” said Limbaugh. “Well they won’t get it from me!”

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Do You Reallly Have To Say More?

Lou Dobbs
, CNN News anchor
No military service.

Paul Gigot, Wall Street Journal editor
No military service.

Sean Hannity, Hannity & Colmes host
No military service.

Brit Hume, Fox News anchor
No military service.

Rush Limbaugh, Radio talk show host
No military service.

Bill O'Reilly, O'Reilly Factor host
No military service.

Michael Savage, Radio talk show host
No military service.

Ann Coulter, writer & commentator
No military service.

They use our country and our people for their own aggrandizement. They are disgusting parasites and in severe need of a brutal adjustment to reality.

Of The People, By The People And For The People

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.” —Winston Churchill

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Kinda all depends on what is better for the greater good. And the last people who know about that are our elected Representatives and Senators who seem to be out solely for themselves.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Limbaugh Blames Obama For Recession

I’d like to know how he caused it.

And in his explanation the fat windbag ranted about how egotistical Obama is and how completely clueless he is with regard to his own ignorance of all things financial. It sounded like Rush was really describing himself in relation to the real world.

Now he has the unmitigated gall to suggest that he was talking to Obama yesterday to share his wonderful ideas. His stupid radio gag seems to have backfired and today he is justifying himself, as usual, with some lame bullshit. The turd was having lunch with Dubya and besmirched his suit with ranch salad dressing. The slob. And then Dubya and his crew present him with a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to him. What an asshead.

Floating around the way he does, you’d think the fat pig boy would be a little wary that someone might just get tired of his hot air and give a yank on his heart-plug.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What Hath God Wrought?

Shepherds don’t look after sheep because they love them — although I do think some shepherds like their sheep too much. They look after their sheep so they can, first, fleece them and second, turn them into meat. That’s much more like the priesthood as I know it. —Christopher Hitchens

OK. I'll go along with the idea that without religion, the world might conceivably be a worse place. On the other hand, I'd stipulate that it might be an altogether better place if religion didn't exist at all.

One thing that's always bothered me is that, if God did exist, why does he let “men” prostitute his word? For that matter, why would he let them write his word? From the time of the Nicean Council about 300 years after the death of Jesus, madmen were gathered by the emperor Constantine to clear up the Christian mess that had been created by too may conflicting eye-witness accounts of the gospel. People who had no idea of what Christ had said or meant wrote fanciful stories they believed would be convincing to the hoards. Over two thousand years later we still have men telling us what they believe God wants for us and from us.

Well, as long as there is still a plethora of peasants out there with torches and pitchforks, I say, “Let’s get ’em!”

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Lame Ducks Waddle Funny When They’re Drunk

A parting shot at Dubya. Thirteen more days and the door hits him in the ass on his way out of the White House, a place he’s soiled and besmirched for the last eight years. Perhaps President Obama will have it fumigated to make it livable. And he still believes he can walk out with his head held high, as if his legacy will be vindicated by history. Wars all over the place, the economy in shambles, unemployment sure to reach double digits and intenational diplomacy at an all time low for the United States. I don’t think he’ll be taking any European vacations soon.

He’s not only a lame duck, he’s a loon.