Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Mahmood Ahmadinejad Declares, “We Have No Problem With Homosexulaity In Iran!”

Obviously he has no problem with it. In fact, it would appear he downright embraces homosexuality and possibly even participates in the phenomenon.

Yikes, no tongue, please!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Blazing Assholes Or What I Did In My Second Term

Those in possession of absolute power can not only prophesy and make
their prophecies come true, but they can also lie and make their lies come true.
—Eric Hoffer

There I was on my ranch in Crawford when the foreman called me to the TV set. He said, “Here’s a guy with just as much swagger and insanity as you, boss.”

And I'll be horn-swoggled, if'n he didn't talk about God the same way I do, and invoke the Almighty against the terrorists and swear he was gonna git the evil doers. He lambasted them what goes against their nation’s constitution and takes civil rights from their people. He railed against those that didn't believe his only purpose in pursuing nuke-u-lar was peaceful. He warn’t no liar, he said. He said if’n other countries send weapons to Iraq, why shouldn’t he? He started to make my head hurt some, what with all the thinkin’ and all.

Why, he’s the kind of feller, in another time and place, I’d like to sit down and drink a beer with, only I don't drink no more...

I knew right away he was the anti-Christ, and since there ain’t enought room on this earth for two of us, I gotta nuke him.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Insane Asylum, The Reverend James Dobson And Senator Larry Craig...Separated At Birth?

Reverend James Dobson, Senator Larry Craig
“A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith
does not prove anything.—Friedrich Nietzsche

I've always maintained that faith is a wonderful thing. I’ve also always maintained that faith is a gift. If you were standing behind the pole, it’s just too bad. For those who feel compelled to believe in a great, secular cloud being with any color skin or any color beard who takes a personal interest in you, I have only this to offer: WAKE UP!

Have you ever wondered why there are so many different religions and how come they all claim to be the true religion and each is willing to die for his/her beliefs and take any infidels with them?

Religion is one of the most evil hoaxes ever invented by man. For purposes of extortion, political manipulation, and targeted mass hysteria. I don’t mean to say that there are not beneficial by-products to religion. There are. The elevation of mood by doing “good,” by feeling as if one belongs to something greater than oneself. Helping others. Spreading the “Word.”

But by and large, the priests, when they’re not buggering young altar boys, the ministers when they can avoid helping little girls find their panties or condemning alternate lifestyles are harmless charlatans bilking the populace out of tax free tithes and offerings. In the end, it is the abuse of power that destroys humanity at the hands of even the most well intentioned evangelist, believer or not. The Mullahs, The Ayatollahs, the Rabbis: all have as much control over our lives as any president of any country if we chose to swallow what they purvey.

Methinks they doth protest too much.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Hi! I’m Just As Dead As Ever, Yet I Live On In Spirit And In General David Petraeus.

“History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.—Karl Marx

Remember that nasty Viet Nam War? Well, when NVA got going, I convinced the Congress and President Johnson that everything was swell. The Tet Offensive had just proven that we were on a roll and could take care of “Charlie” like the great army we were. Only problem was we left after they gave us just about everything we asked for but the time to accomplish our mission.

It seems my clone, David Petraeus has just pulled the same stunt on the Congress. Difference being that I didn’t have to convince President Bush. I was really there to pull his bacon out of the fire by testifying how well we’re doing. You know all the good things we’ve done for the Iraqis. How much their lives have improved since they all got purple fingers. How safe it is to walk around not only Baghdad but outside the green zone, (provided you’ve got a flak jacket, helmet and a convoy of trigger-happy Blackwater safety contractors .) Just ask John McCain. “Straight Talk Express,” I tell you.

It looks like we’re gonna be in Iraq forever, thanks to me and, yes, General Petraeus.

And I'm still dead. Me and about 3800 grunts.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Blueprint For Victory!

Boy, does George Bush have a plan for us all. He’s bringing the troops home. All 30,000 that he called up for the surge. He has to bring them home. Otherwise it wouldn't have been a surge. It would have been an escalation of the war like after the Tet Offensive in Viet Nam. This way he still has what he originally wanted, he appears to be obliging the American people and the Dems can’t carp about anything. It's a win-win-win situation for everyone but the troops. Shit, he even got the defecting Republican big-wigs to back off on Webb’s bill to give the troops at least as much of a breather from the war as they spend “in country.”

We’ll be in Iraq for the next fifty years, if not forever. But don’t worry. As John McCain tells us it’s safe to walk anywhere outside the green zone in Baghdad. Our safety contractors like Blackriver make sure it’s safe at the expense of the Iraqi civilians. Cart Blanche to shoot at anything or anybody with complete immunity from prosecution. Even the army doesn't have a deal like that. What’ll that monkey think up next?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Playing For Time...Or Just Playing?

“If time be of all things the most precious,
wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.”
Benjamin Franklin

When George Bush admitted he was “playing for time,” we assumed we meant time for the Iraqi government to get their shit together. We didn’t think he meant continuing the stupidity for his fun and amusement. We can win every battle and still lose the war. Polls say the American people believe that the military solution has by far the best chance of fixing the Iraqi situation. Few think Congress can do anything about it and even fewer think Bush will ever have any effect.

Problem is the US Military is responsible to the civilian control of the Congress. And until the military annihilates the entire population and lays waste to the country, there will be no military “victory” without their say so.
Unless, somehow or other, something happens which precipitates marshal law and creates a new branch of our government called “President for Life.” (Cheney seems to have been working on this angle already.)

Who has the power to take Nuri Al Maliki and the rest of his democratically elected government to the woodshed and explain the realities of democracy in Iraq?

Answer: No one. They've got to do it themselves. Civil war is not the worst thing that could happen. Hell, we had a pretty good one ourselves and we’re not doing too badly after one helluva bloodbath. When did Killer-George become squeamish?

Thursday, September 06, 2007

President George W. Bush Reveals New Super-Secret Weapon To Secure Iraq Victory

”The man of science is a poor philosopher.—Albert Einstein

As if to usurp Fred Thompson’s thunder in his announcing for the presidency on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, President Bush rolled out his latest plan to augment the Surge.

“I have become wise beyond my wildest dreams,” said Bush. “I have distilled an essence that will enable General Petraeus to run roughshod over the insurgents, the Iranians, the militias and the Democrats. It took a long time because I had to find an ingredient that was hereforto (sic) unavailable. I can't wait to show Pickles and Condi.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll drink a tall, frothy glass of my own urine.”

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The Only Thing More Odious Than A Homosexual Hypocrite Is A Homosexual Hypocrite In Denial

Hypocrisy is the homage vice pays to virtue.Francois de La Rochefoucauld

With the Echoing words, “I am not gay, I never have been gay,” the only thing Larry Craig left out was, “I did not ever intend to be gay.” He could have left himself some “wiggle room.”

I think perhaps it is his “intent” to be gay that will eventually lead to his retirement. How such a smug hypocrite can deny his tendencies and stonewall through what appears to the layman as pretty crude behavior with so little outrage at having been “stung” is beyond comprehension. Taking more than two months to consider his guilty plea before signing it, he showed a calculated effort to make it all go away. To overlook the fact that such a culpable Senator could possibly be what he seems is denial at its worst. Forget the fact that his GOP is imploding from his stupidity. He actually seems to believe his lie. He is unable to come to grips with his prevarication and what he seems to hate most about himself because he has fought against homosexuality his entire conservative, political career. The American people can forgive a lot including homosexuality. They have a much harder time with liars, hypocrites and assholes in denial.

If you need to give him the benefit of the doubt, just say he’s stupid. In any case the people of Idaho deserve better. Who needs a stupid senator?

There are three things in the world that deserve no mercy, hypocrisy, fraud, and tyranny.
—Frederick William Robertson

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Ahmed Chalabi, Smarmy Weasel

Chalabi is a controversial figure for many reasons. In the lead-up to the 2003 invasion of Iraq, under his guidance the INC provided a major portion of the information on which U.S. Intelligence based its condemnation of Saddam Hussein, including reports of weapons of mass destruction and alleged ties to al-Qaeda. Nearly all, if not all, of this information has turned out to be false. That, combined with the fact that Chalabi subsequently boasted about the impact that their falsifications had in an interview with the British Sunday Telegraph, led to a falling out between him and the United States.

Now he seems to be jockeying for position, elbowing his way into the Iraqi government once again. I’m afraid there’s a cold day in hell coming. As George Bush said, “Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice...and we won’t get fooled again.”