Monday, November 26, 2007

Rush Limbaugh Goes To Hell, Gets Big Reception

“Obscenity, which is ever blasphemy against the divine beauty in life, is a monster for which the corruption of society forever brings forth new food, which it devours in secret.—Percy Bysshe Shelley

Somewhere there is an attic with a horrid portrait of Rush Limbaugh, a caricature of syphilitic grandeur slowly rotting it’s way to a pile of buboes, pus and spirochetes. The fact that it is possible to fool some of the people all of the time has never had a more dangerous connotation for our country. Both he and George Bush have this figured out. Those are the people they concentrate upon with misinformation, exaggeration, fear and hate, having set themselves up as paragons of intelligence and virtue.

Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Scott McClellan Grows A Pair...Finally

“Men should be either treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injuries - for heavy ones they cannot.—Niccolo Machiavelli

Although it is apparently much too late in the game to have any value, Scott McClellan is finally naming names. As any stalwart Bush aide who was forced to bite the bullet, no doubt for his own good, McClellan finally decided he didn’t get paid off properly and is going to get his pound of flesh by publishing his kiss and tell book regarding the outing of Valerie Plame in a vengeful act by the Bush administration to get back at Plame’s husband, Ambassador George Wilson for casting aspersions on the reasons for going to war in Iraq.

Dick Cheney was seen in his undisclosed location snarling and gnawing on the corner of his office’s carpet. He claimed it was merely an imitation of his daughter.

When reached for comment, George Bush said, “I’m happy because Jesus and the American people love me.” He then proceeded to sniff three lines of coke off his glass topped desk.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Veterans Against The War

I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell. —William Tecumseh Sherman

Mission Accomplished, the banner proclaimed. That was way back in May 2003 when our noble soldier-playing president flew onto the aircraft carrier, USS Abraham Lincoln, and told us the hostilities were all but over in Iraq. This was back when the death tally was a scant 170 brave young men and women. Today the total is 3866. It is also likely to continue to mount.

Many who do not die and who in previous conflicts would have, are saved by speedy medical treatment and thereby damned to a fate worse than death... survival with maimed, deformed bodies with damaged souls. The rate of suicide has doubled among our soldiers.

Sherman also observed, “In our Country... one class of men makes war and leaves another to fight it out.” With that in mind, it’s not difficult to figure out what kind of class President George W. Bush has.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Still Crazy After All These Years

“I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.—Clarence Darrow

They say that girls love a man in uniform. I’d say that some men also love men in uniform —especially themselves. It’s fun to march in a parade, salute, be saluted return salutes. Oh, golly is it fun. Especially when no one is going to be shooting at you from behind a camel or something.

To have an unerring faith in an invisible cloud being that talks to you and tells you that it’s alright to kill people to save your kind of people and advance an ideology that very few of the people on whom you intend to foist the ideology have any idea. Except that they get to have purple fingers every so often. That’s almost as good as wearing a uniform. Uniformity of fingers.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Bush, Sarkozy Agree To Live In The Past

“If the liberties of the American people are ever destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the clergy.—Marquis de Lafayette

Whenever it is convenient, George Bush can return to the past. When it is inconvenient, he takes the expedient route to covering the truth. Platitudes are swell. The truth can suffer. There was no Armenian genocide by the Turks.

I'm not sure who Lafayette was talking about. The Taliban or the Religious Right led by Pat Robertson and the other Holy Terroists this country is confronted with. Either will suffice, I’m sure. Just as long as it’s not talk radio.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

I Call It “Spendthriftiness!” —G.W. Bush

“To do what we are doing in this budget to our children, cutting their health care funds, decreasing opportunity, simply so we can pay for tax cuts and a war in Iraq is beyond belief, and we need to reverse it.” —Tom Allen

Hi. My name is George Bush and I think I’m getting close to bankrupting the country. Our economy is booming. I know we owe an awful lot of money to China. Heh, heh. Well, let’s see ’em try to collect. In the meantime I'm trying to bring the rest of the world down to their economic level so everyone will be the same, see. A Mexican worker will be the same as an American worker. I mean, they’ll both be getting the same pay for the same work. That way they’ll be equal. Everybody wins! It’s a win, win, win, win situation! Even the Iraqi worker will have been pulled up by his boot straps.

Of course the rich will run the world as usual. Gotta have tax cuts for the wealthy so they can create all these equal-paying jobs. Hot damn, am I good! Move over Alan Greenspan. Mister Economic genius is here.