Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Cheney Comes Clean

In a surprise move this morning, Vice President Dick Cheney seems to have done a complete about-face in his support of the President. Reached in his lair at an undisclosed location, Cheney stated that “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more. George has made us the laughing stock of the world. He was the one who told Scooter to rat on the Plame dame. I had nothing to do with it. What? You don’t believe me?”

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Speak No, See No, Hear No... Evil

“No evil propensity of the human heart is so powerful that it may not be subdued by discipline.” —Lucius Annaeus Seneca

And so it seems that Dubya, although iron-willed and self-righteous, is less than disciplined when it comes to evil. He calls other cultures evil. Other countries. He elicits hate. He assigns blame, kicks asses and takes names. Yet he cannot affect the smallest part of the human race, let alone his own country, with a better than (currently) 31 per-cent approval rating.

His current visit to South America begets no more than “Feura Bush!” which he probably thinks means, “We’re For Bush!” until the eggs start flying, heads start being cracked and the security people rush him to safety. He vindictively choses to ignore Ugo Chavez of Venezuela. He focuses the hate of the world, allies and enemies alike on himself and therefore our country.

Then again, his trip is probably just a taxpayer-paid junket to check out the property that Jenna was buying for him in Paraguay beside Sun Yung Moon’s land on the aquifer.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Can You Hear The Sounds Of The Men Working On The Cheney Gang?

Late Saturday night the remaining members of the infamous “Cheney Gang” were rounded up by police and taken to a Georgia minimum security prison camp to serve out their sentences for high crimes and misdemeanors. The camp is a “country club” camp. Even the word , “camp” allows you to know how much fun there is to be had in this light-hearted environment.

One of the recent perpetrators was over heard to say that none of this would have happened if “Dick wasn’t such a nasty, vengeful hard-ass.” When reached for comment, Mr. Cheney grunted, “So what? They tried to queer the war! We had to make Wilson look bad! I wish Karl would have kept his mouth shut. I should have never listened to him.”

Irving “Scooter” Libby said, “I beg your pardon?”

Monday, March 05, 2007

Purveyor Of Pap

It's so commodified a world we live in that you end up a huckster, no matter what you do.—Russell Banks

Yes, folks. I urge you to squander your money on the products these radio show hucksters promote. Rush lauds the benefits of Zicam™ even though he comes on the air gagging, sniffling and coughing from a cold.

He has to take a few days off. Comes back on and announces that it certainly wasn’t a cold. Had something worse. Cancer? Not likely. No, like most snake-oil salesmen, Rush tells you his personal experiences with the product and how well they kept him from getting sick, refraining from advertising it while suffering the ailment it ordinarily is supposed to prevent.

As soon as he’s recovered from the plague (because it couldn't have possibly been a cold or influenza) he’s back selling the shit out of the product.

Don’t forget to get your “Sleep Number™” bed or your “Bellawood™” flooring.

Ann Coulter: Smart, Rich, Evil: And Wrong.

The author of “Godless,” a diatribe against the liberal left and the democrats has once again drawn the attention and ire of the target of her venom. Why? Because she wanted attention. She needs attention like a junkie needs a fix. She thrives on it. Can’t live without it. Why? Because she’s a dried up has been with very little left in her repertoire but inflammatory epithets couched in her clever rhetoric. Calling John Edwards a “faggot” in a round-about way is about as stupid a joke and as great a defamatory and hateful comment as anyone could make. I've seen people prosecuted and sent to anger management school for less. Does slander strike a familiar note?

Extreme right-wing nuts think they are funny. The problem is liberal lefties get all the laughs. They can actually tell a joke. When someone like Coulter spouts off, it’s a mean spirited vicious rant that is never funny and usually misinterpreted as political commentary.

My guess is she really gets prurient satisfaction from her exhibitionism. Kind of like pulling down her panties and showing her hoo-hoo-dilly to the crowd. That’ll make a buck, too.

And she’s as serious as a heart attack.

Especially about the money