Friday, February 27, 2009

Who Is Sarah Palin And Why Does She Keep Coming Back?

More than slightly mild retardation, seems to run in the Palin family. Sarah herself seems to be no exception to the malaise. Given that her son Trig, no doubt named for a either part of a gun or Roy Roger’s horse, has Downes syndrome, but she herself has displayed some remarkable lack of intellectual capacity during interviews.

One nagging question remains to be answered, however. Why doesn’t she retreat into obscurity? Better yet, run. Why doesn’t the Democratic party in Alaska find someone to run against her for governor? She couldn't be that difficult to beat. When 2012 rolls around who’s going to draft her from the daycare center she’ll no doubt be running?

Why would the Republican party even want to touch this airborne wolf-sniper and knot of banal, redneck outrage?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Former Treasury Secretary Paulson Apologizes For Being A Bad Boy, Then Laughs

Called before an angry congressional committee to explain what he was thinking, former Secretary of the Treasury, Hank Paulson explained that he got scared that the American people would find out that he and Bernanke were merely performing slight of hand and prestidigitation while addressing the imminent collapse of the banking system. He said he also saw nothing wrong with taking care of a few old friends with a few billion dollars on his way out the door that “no one will ever miss.’

He also said that creating currency by government fiat was stupid and would never work, even though that’s what the government has been doing since the country went off the gold standard in August of 1971.

“In essence,” stated Paulson, “we’re doomed. Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Friday, February 13, 2009

Ann Coulter, Insignificant Insect & Menace To The Truth

Prolific author, plagiarist and voter fraud felon is celebrating having her jaw un-wired. In fact she crammed 3 gob-stoppers, 2 un-shelled walnuts and a three-foot flourescent light tube into her prodigious maw. After chewing for ten minutes, Coulter spit out the splinters and pronounced she was ready to take on Noam Chomsky, but only if he chews on razor blades first.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Comrade Beck Threatens Us All.

As is his usual hammy blather, once again the Limbaugh wannabe is ranting about socialism. It’s OK for George Bush to give the banks $350 billion, but should Barrack Obama see fit to keep the ball rolling, Beck skips the socialism gambit and goes for the dreaded triple-dog-dare of communism!

This pygmy among men, this pig among pigs, must get on the bandwagon with Limbaugh, Hannity et al, to hope that Obama fails. Good, nay, great Americans one and all.

They have already failed not only their viewers and fans. They’ve failed their country. To think that these conservative, capitalistic windbags have anyone but themselves in mind is to be oblivious to the avarice, greed and evil that began this horrible slide into what well may be the end of civilization as we know it. Welcome to the third world, Glenn.