Thursday, January 22, 2009

Rush Limbaugh Invites Underage Kids Onto His Private Plane.

Rush Limbaugh in a vain attempt to assuage the ire of parents and teachers at a Minnesota elementary school where someone ran his commentary on the inauguration of President Barrack Obama, said that he’d invited fifteen of the young students to fly on his private jet. Rush vehemently tried to justify his disrespectful comments concerning the newly sworn in president, but seemed to fail miserably short of his goals saying that nobody ever really listens tohim in context. Rush’s self destructive tendencies seem to be alienating many people these days. The school principal declined the offer, citing Rushes fondness for small boys from the Dominican Republic.

Rush spent most of the day today trying to further divide the conservatives from the liberals in this country, by giving his now tiresome warnings of socialism. Proud to be a capitalist, the great man speculated on how happy he’d be not to have to pay taxes on his $400 million which has dwindled to about $300 million in the past 6 months, if only someone would be kind enough to keep all those poor people with torches and pitchforks from coming to his door.

“You’d think they were hungry, wanted an education, some health care, a place to sleep or something,” said Limbaugh. “Well they won’t get it from me!”

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