Friday, August 18, 2006

Now Watch This Trick!

“Once annihilate the quackery of government, and the most homebred understanding might be strong enough to detect the artifices of the state juggler that would mislead him. —William Godwin

This morning, President Bush appeared at a White House news conference with three red balls. While fielding questions from the press corps, Bush adroitly kept the three balls airborne.

He reminisced about the “soft ball” questions he used to take on the chin from Gary Guckert, and complained that even though Helen Thomas is a woman, she plays hardball.

He then challenged anyone in the crowd to a game of three-card-monty for 3 trillion dollars just to show he's got the best interests of the U.S. Treasury at heart. There were no takers, but a Chinese gentleman motioned him toward the cloakroom just off the Oval Office.

When asked about his wiretaps and spying upon U.S. citizens being declared illegal, Bush merely winked and stated that it really didn't matter what the court said. He wasn’t going to cease and desist as he'd been reassured by Alberto Gonzalez, performing a job no American would do, that everything was legal.

“Screw them,” he said. “If Reagan and Ollie can sell weapons to Iran and use the money to finance the Contras, I can spy on all y'all.”

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