PKK Rebel Thinks Of Armenian Genocide, Sees His Own Future

Genocide is an attempt to exterminate a people, not to alter their behavior. —Jack Schwartz

Those Turks are at it again, and this time again with George Bush’s permission. No wonder he wouldn't dare to recognize the Armenian genocide. He sides with the bullies every time. Could it be that the PKK might actually have a legitimate gripe against the Turks?

The Armenians certainly did.

If George Bush had been around in 1776, he'd have sided with the British and shot every one of the founding fathers.

Why Does This Man Go Crazy Every Time He Sees A Black Man?

Insane sects grow with the same rhythm as big organizations.
It is the rhythm of total destruction. —Theodor Adorno

Eschewing his usual monkey-face, President G.W. Bush instead chose to beat like a wild man on this poor Tanzanian’s drum. He also acted like a victim of St. Vitus’s dance as he jerked his way around a crowd of well coordinated black performers demonstrating their culture’s ceremonial choreography.

“This reminds me of my happy days in kindergarten,” said a wistful Dubya. “Only they wouldn't ever let me play the drum. I always got stuck with the rhythm sticks or the triangle.”

He Thinks He Got Away With It.

“Almost every man wastes part of his life attempting to display qualities which he does not possess.” —Samuel Johnson

Feeling smug and confident, President George W. Bush will give his final State of the Nation Address to a joint session of Congress this evening. He will talk about how his visio for freedom in Iraq has worked beyond our wildest expectations. He will tell us how the nation’s economy has never been so strong. He will laud his own accomplishments to the skies.

He will be lying through his teeth.

This past week, The Center for Public Integrity published the results of an investigation into the truthfulness of this administration. It concluded that since the advent of the 9,11 attacks, this administration has lied 935 times, most of these lies peaking during the run up to the war with Iraq and other dubious endeavors of this administration.

(Click on the headline above to be taken to this article at the Center’s website.)

After completing his list of prevarications, the president will announce that he is placing himself and his administration under house arrest for high crimes and misdemeanors against this country. He will then pardon everyone and get back to business as usual.

One More Year!

They’re almost out of office, but if Dick plays his cards right, there might just be enough time for one more war. Remember, there’s profit in confusion, and if 935 lies aren’t enough, there are plenty more where they came from.

The Unforgiven

Not unlike Little Bill Dagett, Fred Thompson has been shot by just about everyone in the Republican party whether or not they be out of Missouri and killed women and children at one time or another and just about everything that ever walks or crawled. Not that he didn't deserve it. He did.

CIA Director Made Scapegoat

The Genius Of George Bush

George Bush announced that, against all odds, there will be peace in the middle east in his time. After absorbing all the culture of the area by osmosis while driving to the meeting, Bush met with Mahmound Abbas, Ehud Olmert, and Shimon Peres. Unfortuneately, since he considers Hammas to be a terrorist organization, he could not meet with anyone who could actually make a difference in his quest for a mid-east accord.

Leaving Palestine, Bush said he was looking forward to returning home to collect his Powerball winnings.

Almost 4000 Troops Killed To Get This Photo Op—OoRah!

Two soldiers valiantly try to support George W Bush, who, when it comes to the war in Iraq, doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He fell over moments after this picture was taken.

Some in the Bush Administration would have us believe that the surge is working, has worked and is responsible for the 60% decrease in violence in Iraq. I submit that it is not the result of an additional 30,000 troops and their dominance over Al Qaida fighters which has cause this turn around. Rather that it is the result of the first real cooperation among tribal clan leaders who have decided it is temporarily financially more expedient to throw in with their fellow Iraqis and beat up on the insurgents.

Though somewhat physically more dangerous if one happens to find oneself in a back alley with an Al Qaida Kalashnikov pointed at you, the deals these wise old leaders have made insure two things. First, that they are amply rewarded with the bags of money the US always has handy for bribes and propping up “friends” and secondly, that given the decrease in violence, the US may soon pull out allowing them to divvy up the country anyway they see fit regardless of the civil war this will foment and much to the chagrin of the puppet government we are so desperately trying to squeeze into a democratic mold of multicultural/religious sects.

Touch ’em all, George. Another home-run!

Five For A Dime, Thirteen for A Quarter, Or Eight For Fifty Cents?

If only buying votes were this simple.

My Skull And Bones Legacy By George W. Bush

“It was right about the time that I said, 'Thank you, sir, may I have another!' that I saw the light. I knew then that I could fool some of the people all the time. I've never looked back.”

A fellow Bonesman and Yale rugby teammate who refused to be identified remarked, “You never could hurt George by hitting him in the head. He got his ideas from bottom-up thinking.”

Witness one George Bush. A little man with big plans and a bigger ego. A small man with big plans for an increasingly small world. A new world order and a free world under his benevolent dictatorship— and where else but in the Twilight Zone?

Rush Limbaugh Says, “Beastiality Has Consequences.”

In a rare moment of candor, Rush Limbaugh admitted he had had carnal knowledge of sheep and pigs and had become infected with syphilis. The former Oxycontin addict stated to reporters that he was checking himself into a rehabilitation clinic for the express purpose of curing his sex addiction to barnyard creatures and receive treatment for the third and final stage of the disease. “I thought the disease had been eradicated,” said an obviously distraught Limbaugh, “When I went deaf a few years ago, it should have been a wake-up call. Now I stand a good chance of going blind, too!”

“It could happen to anyone,” Rush said. “I’m just sorry it didn’t happen to some liberal Democrat instead of me.”

Forever the consummate shill, Limbaugh said he’d put out feelers to the National Association of Syphilitics to be their poster boy, “for a fee.”

CIA Covers For Bush’s Torture Crimes

“Shamefully we now learn that Saddam's torture chambers reopened under new management, U.S. management.” —Edward Kennedy

It would appear that the Bush administration will have no comment on this ongoing investigation and the Justice Department’s looking into alleged wrongdoing involved with the burning of videotapes showing water-boarding of AlQaeda suspects. Water-boarding, for those of you who’ve been off-planet the last few years, is the act making the victim feel as if he were drowning by pouring water through a rag that is stuffed into his mouth. It’s very effective because there is a real good chance that it can kill you if overdone in the slightest. In fact some detainees have died, not necessarily from drowning, but heart attacks. Seems safe to me, though.

I believe it should be made law that if anyone says that water-boarding is not torture, he should immediately be grabbed and water-boarded in front of the Senate.

George Bush is safe. He’s got his new lackey Attorney General Mukasey working up a big smokescreen on this investigation, and you can be sure George Tenet isn’t going to sing any new tunes.

Happy Days Are Here Again!

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to a retrospective peek at the past seven years, I was much further ahead back then. In fact, you’d have to be living under a rock somewhere with Rip Van Winkle to think you’re better off today. You'd have to be insane.

The price of gasoline has sky rocketed. The value of the dollar has plummeted. The economy has slowed to a crawl. China is trying to poison us with lead toys. Our food companies try to poison us with e coli spinach and meat.
We have a vice president being kept alive artificially and a Secretary of state who ponces around the world doing nothing. We are still trying to prop up puppet heads of state who attempt to sell us their dictatorships as democracies. We are bogged down in two
different countries fighting wars that make no sense. We’ve got an idiot for a president living in a fantasy world who thinks his way of doing things is right because he believes there is a God who talks to him and tells him to spread freedom and democracies to countries which have no idea what it is because they’ve lived under the guns and knives of petty tyrants forever.

Yeah, we’re better off. Keep drinking the Kool Aid, children.

Follow The Money

Fat oinker, Rush Limbaugh works for Clear Channel Broadcasting as a controversial shill and global warming denier. He sidelines as a pederast with young boys on trips to the Dominican Republic. It is in his best interest to keep Exxon Mobil happy.

Projects of the Media Research Center include the Free Market Project, the Conservative Communications Center, and Cybercast News Service (CNSNews.com), formerly the Conservative News Service. It also runs the website TimesWatch.org, dedicated to pointing out what it sees as the overwhelming liberal bias of the New York Times.

Rush Limbaugh has nothing but praise for the MRC. He raves, "Brent Bozell and the MRC provide a most precious commodity - a quest for the truth. I can't possibly expose every example of bias and error that emanates from the national mainstream media, but Bozell and his group come as close as anyone can. MRC is a vital national interest."

Excluding 2007, Media Research Center has received $202,500 from ExxonMobil since 1998.

I guess it’s pretty obvious that the truth can be held hostage if you have money.

The Fog Of War Meets The Fog Of Presidential Thought Process

“Once you look at this demon in the face, and don't run away, the fear slowly dissipates like a fog and there's nothing staring back at you.” —Nicholas Brendon

President Bush grossed himself out while visiting Later Reed Medical Center. He was introduced to a young soldier with an amputated left leg who obviously took delight in the president’s embarrassment after the president said, “Hey, soljer! Hop to it for your commander-in-chief! Oh, shit, that came out wrong! What I meant to say was, I wish you guys wouldn’t come home at all instead of coming back with missing parts and making me feel funny, you freaky bastards, yuck!”

President Attends National Tree Lighting, Tree Surgeon Called

The National Christmas tree was illuminated by President Bush last evening. The tree remained erect for over four hours causing some concern among most of those present at the ceremony. The president, in a rare fit of compassion for anything, made an emergency call to a Washington area tree surgeon who came and cut the tree down.

“Everyone has heard those warnings on TV.” said the president, “You know, with those people sitting in bathtubs and all. Ya cain’t be too careful these days. What if these trees got the knowledge to make Nuke-u-lar weapons?”

NIE Report Says Bush Is Lying To Us, Or Something

“I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort.” —Spiro T. Agnew

George Bush came to the podium yesterday thinking he could still convince the American people that if they didn't believe that Iran was evil and would kill them in a New York second, they must think he was crazy. He then said, “Be afraid, be very very afraid. Pay no attention to the economy, the sub-prime mortgage fiasco, the price of oil, the housing market slump, all those people who never found jobs and are now off the unemployment roles. Just trust me. Iran is going to get you! Boo! If ya’ll don’t believe me, I can’t help you, and you know you’re the only reason I wanted to be president...to protect you from evil doers.”

The president then spun on his heel after ignoring questions from the press corps, tore the head off of a White House aide and flung the bloody body against the door jamb with the resounding thud of dead meat. He then ran, cackling, down the hallway.

And That Takes Care Of That!

“The Republicans would like to take us back to a darker time, when corporations ruled and the underserved had no rights.” —Joe Baca

At the ceremonial burning of the bill of rights, Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney was given the high honor of lighting the original document on fire, thereby relieving the American public of its last vestiges of any power whatsoever over the federal government.

“After all,” Ms Cheney said, “We are not now, nor have we ever been a democracy. We are a republic, where fools like the public foolishly elect people to represent them. They get only what they deserve.”

Sean Hannity Linked To Hostage Taker, Leeland Eisenberg

“People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.” —Francis Bacon

Shortly before taking a number of hostages at a Hillary Clinton campaign center in Rochester, New Hampshire, Leeland Eisenberg took a picture of himself and this letter stuck to the passenger-side window of his car. After his capture, he claimed he knew nothing about it and said, “I think for myself when I’m not crazy. I never do what Sean Hannity tells me to do!”

Dead Horse Beaten, Stands And Pulls Cart!

“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.” —H. L. Mencken

All Rudi ever says is 9-11, expecting this single credential he assumes is a feather in his cap will propel him to the GOP(your pants) nomination if not the presidency.

Imagine, if you will, however, a sleazy guy with a bad comb-over (he fakes his looks) hiding from his wife in order to rendezvous with his mistress (he cheats on his wife). Now imagine that he also is using public funds to pay for their private security and transportation (he steals from you).

Now that’s what America needs! A guy that seems to be one thing and is actually another. Nothing above board. A liar and a cheat, not to mention a thief.

But wait a second. We already have one of those. Never mind.

Rush Limbaugh Goes To Hell, Gets Big Reception

“Obscenity, which is ever blasphemy against the divine beauty in life, is a monster for which the corruption of society forever brings forth new food, which it devours in secret.” —Percy Bysshe Shelley

Somewhere there is an attic with a horrid portrait of Rush Limbaugh, a caricature of syphilitic grandeur slowly rotting it’s way to a pile of buboes, pus and spirochetes. The fact that it is possible to fool some of the people all of the time has never had a more dangerous connotation for our country. Both he and George Bush have this figured out. Those are the people they concentrate upon with misinformation, exaggeration, fear and hate, having set themselves up as paragons of intelligence and virtue.

Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth.

Scott McClellan Grows A Pair...Finally

“Men should be either treated generously or destroyed, because they take revenge for slight injuries - for heavy ones they cannot.” —Niccolo Machiavelli

Although it is apparently much too late in the game to have any value, Scott McClellan is finally naming names. As any stalwart Bush aide who was forced to bite the bullet, no doubt for his own good, McClellan finally decided he didn’t get paid off properly and is going to get his pound of flesh by publishing his kiss and tell book regarding the outing of Valerie Plame in a vengeful act by the Bush administration to get back at Plame’s husband, Ambassador George Wilson for casting aspersions on the reasons for going to war in Iraq.

Dick Cheney was seen in his undisclosed location snarling and gnawing on the corner of his office’s carpet. He claimed it was merely an imitation of his daughter.

When reached for comment, George Bush said, “I’m happy because Jesus and the American people love me.” He then proceeded to sniff three lines of coke off his glass topped desk.

Veterans Against The War

“I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell.” —William Tecumseh Sherman

Mission Accomplished, the banner proclaimed. That was way back in May 2003 when our noble soldier-playing president flew onto the aircraft carrier, USS Abraham Lincoln, and told us the hostilities were all but over in Iraq. This was back when the death tally was a scant 170 brave young men and women. Today the total is 3866. It is also likely to continue to mount.

Many who do not die and who in previous conflicts would have, are saved by speedy medical treatment and thereby damned to a fate worse than death... survival with maimed, deformed bodies with damaged souls. The rate of suicide has doubled among our soldiers.

Sherman also observed, “In our Country... one class of men makes war and leaves another to fight it out.” With that in mind, it’s not difficult to figure out what kind of class President George W. Bush has.

Still Crazy After All These Years

“I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure - that is all that agnosticism means.” —Clarence Darrow

They say that girls love a man in uniform. I’d say that some men also love men in uniform —especially themselves. It’s fun to march in a parade, salute, be saluted return salutes. Oh, golly is it fun. Especially when no one is going to be shooting at you from behind a camel or something.

To have an unerring faith in an invisible cloud being that talks to you and tells you that it’s alright to kill people to save your kind of people and advance an ideology that very few of the people on whom you intend to foist the ideology have any idea. Except that they get to have purple fingers every so often. That’s almost as good as wearing a uniform. Uniformity of fingers.

Bush, Sarkozy Agree To Live In The Past

“If the liberties of the American people are ever destroyed, they will fall by the hands of the clergy.” —Marquis de Lafayette

Whenever it is convenient, George Bush can return to the past. When it is inconvenient, he takes the expedient route to covering the truth. Platitudes are swell. The truth can suffer. There was no Armenian genocide by the Turks.

I'm not sure who Lafayette was talking about. The Taliban or the Religious Right led by Pat Robertson and the other Holy Terroists this country is confronted with. Either will suffice, I’m sure. Just as long as it’s not talk radio.

I Call It “Spendthriftiness!” —G.W. Bush

“To do what we are doing in this budget to our children, cutting their health care funds, decreasing opportunity, simply so we can pay for tax cuts and a war in Iraq is beyond belief, and we need to reverse it.” —Tom Allen

Hi. My name is George Bush and I think I’m getting close to bankrupting the country. Our economy is booming. I know we owe an awful lot of money to China. Heh, heh. Well, let’s see ’em try to collect. In the meantime I'm trying to bring the rest of the world down to their economic level so everyone will be the same, see. A Mexican worker will be the same as an American worker. I mean, they’ll both be getting the same pay for the same work. That way they’ll be equal. Everybody wins! It’s a win, win, win, win situation! Even the Iraqi worker will have been pulled up by his boot straps.

Of course the rich will run the world as usual. Gotta have tax cuts for the wealthy so they can create all these equal-paying jobs. Hot damn, am I good! Move over Alan Greenspan. Mister Economic genius is here.

Armenian Genocide. It Didn’t Happen There, It Can’t Happen Here.

Yes! It's true. It was the shifty-eyed Armenians, who like the Jews, got a hold of some Photoshop® applications and, can you believe it, INVENTED the Armenian Genocide by clever photo-manipulation.

George W Bush, in a rare fit of understanding, concurred, citing the possibility that Turkey might present a greater threat than Communist China when it comes to his pissing off a foreign nation with over 1,321,851,888 people ready and eager to throw away their lives should their regime ask. He then presented the Dali Lama with the Congressional Gold medal for coming in first or something.

Contacted in his grave, Abdul Gamal Attaturk, spun a few times and said, “Thank you, MeesterBoosh! You are the one true friend that Turkey can always depend on. Our human rights record remains impeccable. Give our mutual friend Mahmood Amadinajad my best regards. He is some poofter you bet.”

I just wonder where all those extra heads came from. Must have been a sale at Big Lots.

Proud Turkish officers pose with the actual re-touched Photoshop® retouched heads of Armenian leaders in Yerevan. This picture was never taken.

The Truth Shall Set You Free, Probably Along With A Little Arbeit.

The Armenian Genocide is known to Holocaust experts as Hitler's Blueprint. In 1938 when talking about his plan to exterminate the Jews he said "after all who ever speaks of the Armenians" and then added "no one remembers the Armenians no one will remember the Jews."*

The Turks refusal to admit to the Armenian Genocide is outrageous. Just as outrageous is our country’s perpetual inability to embrace what is so obviously true. Let’s just admit it and let the chips fall where they may. Who need a bunch of Islamist idiots with their heads up their asses for friends. We already have plenty of right wing chicken-hawk, neo-conservative, bible-thumping Republican zealots for “friends.”

*Lifted from a comment on “Politco” by one Wendyagogo (screen name)

New Age Turks Gin Up Opportunity For Genocide.

Looking real please with herself, Condi Rice says the Armenian Genocide never happened. Our heroic President and his Secretary of State stood firm in the face of a resolution from the Foreign Affairs Committee condemning the Armenian Genocide and condemned, to no avail, the resolution. But they couldn’t save the Kurds from a Turkish invasion.

Turkey Resolves to Give Go-Ahead for Raids in Iraq!

Kurds will be likely victims of Turkish incursion and new genocide in northern Iraq. Betcha the Turks can kill more Kurds than Saddam did. And they taste just like chicken!

Whadaya Mean, Bill Of Rights?

Someone once said, “If you give up your freedom for security, you deserve neither!” George W. Bush likes the idea that you would have you give up both so that he, the decider, can conclude how the American people should be secured and how much he can hide under your bed. That’s called “Power.”

And as we know, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I'd rather fight them here when it comes right down to it. Maybe the neo-con chickenhawks might actually feel threatened enough to get out from behind their hate-filled microphones and try a little cooperation with the real world.

Evidently the FBI has been spying on American citizens even before 9/11. That should make people like Rush Limbaugh proud. It could also give him pause if they find his internet and phone records show he’s been have sex with little boys from the Dominican Republic.