Thursday, December 06, 2007

NIE Report Says Bush Is Lying To Us, Or Something

“I apologize for lying to you. I promise I won't deceive you except in matters of this sort.—Spiro T. Agnew

George Bush came to the podium yesterday thinking he could still convince the American people that if they didn't believe that Iran was evil and would kill them in a New York second, they must think he was crazy. He then said, “Be afraid, be very very afraid. Pay no attention to the economy, the sub-prime mortgage fiasco, the price of oil, the housing market slump, all those people who never found jobs and are now off the unemployment roles. Just trust me. Iran is going to get you! Boo! If ya’ll don’t believe me, I can’t help you, and you know you’re the only reason I wanted to be protect you from evil doers.”

The president then spun on his heel after ignoring questions from the press corps, tore the head off of a White House aide and flung the bloody body against the door jamb with the resounding thud of dead meat. He then ran, cackling, down the hallway.

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