What Is Your Major Malfunction, Numbnuts?

"The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose." —Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Photo, circa 1969; from a recently discarded Dan Rather file

It seems like only yesterday.

I was on barracks fire patrol when I walked into the head. I saw him sitting there. I knew we were in trouble. No one was supposed to be there at that time, especially with a weapon, cocaine and ammo.

I ran to get the DI, and boy was I sorry I did that! The sarge was pretty hard on him. Called him a fatbody, a conservative and AWOL. I think he left some psychological marks.

The next thing I knew we were in Afganistan. I turned around once, and we were invading Iraq. Now we're on the verge of jumping into whatever is left of the middle east— Lebanon, Syria, Israel and Iran with whatever warm bodies we have left in the USA. One more spin and the Constitution will be in tatters.

You know, THIS guy in the latrine never had the guts to do what the guy in the movie did. He just wasted a bunch of us. Private Pyle did the right thing.