Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Uh-Oh. They're Onto Us

“Bar association task force urges Congress to push for judicial review of Bush signing statements” —U.S. News & World Report

So Dubya says to Alberto, “Ya think we can get away with disguising a line-item veto as an executive signing statement to these bills?”

“Sure,” says Alberto, “It's perfectly legal. With the War Powers Act granting you carte blanche to do anything to protect the people from terrorists, you're good to go.”

”What about the Supreme Court?” asks Dubya, “They said I can't have a line-item veto.”

“Hey, this ain't no line-item veto, okay? This is you making signing statements saying you'll only do this if it's necessary to protect the country. All you gotta say is it's a matter of national security. Got it? As long as you keep everyone scared, you're in good shape. You can spy on private citizens, wiretap anyone. You can make illegal searches and seizures without a warrant. You can outlaw gay marriage, you can overturn Roe v Wade, you can torture anyone you want, you can out CIA agents with impunity, you can raise the dead and walk on water. Trust me, George.”

“Well, OK, then. Uh, one more thing, tell me Alberto, are you here doing a job no American would do?”

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