Imbecilic Hoosier Republicans Nominate North Carolinian Lobbyist To Be Their Candidate For State Senator Senator In Fall Elections

In an unprecedented action, thousands of Hoosiers went to the polls in the primary elections to pick their candidates for all sorts of offices in this fall's election. Among the stupidest moves was the nomination of Dan Coats for GOP candidate for the Senate. Coats, who was born in Michigan, educated in Illinois and received a law degree from Indiana University because it was cheaper there, has distinguished himself as an anti-gun, pro-life, pro big banking politician who once claimed that he questioned Bill Clinton's timing of the attacks on terrorist bases in Afghanistan to divert attention from his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

He served briefly as a senator from Indiana while he was robbing people in Fort Wayne  disguised as a lawyer.

George Bush made him an ambassador to Germany where he pre-rubbed Angela Merkel's shoulders.

When he'd had enough of that gig he became a lobbyist for the banking industry where he could make really big money, and has been extremely influential for the likes of Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, our old friend Chrysler and was instrumental creating the TARP fund which bailed out the banks with money he found in the taxpayers' pockets. And because he was a resident of North Carolina, the morons of Indiana want him for their Senator. He is expected to beat the blue dog democratic party candidate, Brad Ellsworth in the fall general elections.

Obviously, the press honored Coats' request, and not one imbecile in Indiana knew that he was really from North Carolina.