Thursday, January 11, 2007

The Book Of Robertson's Revelations

Whatsoever truth is brought unto us contrary to the word of God, it is not truth, but falsehood and error; whatsoever honour done unto God, disagreeth from the honour required by his word, it is not honour unto God, but blasphemy. —John Jewel

Pat Robertson said that God told him that sometime this year, probably in the fall, there would be a terrorist attack on the United States. God couldn’t specific as to whetr the attack would be nuclear or biological, but it could involve millions of U.S. citizens.

Robertson also claimed that the heavy rains in New England were ample proof that his prediction from last year in which numerous catastrophic storms along the gulf coast would wreak havoc on the inhabitants and cause millions of dollars in damage. The promised storms never materialized.

He also took credit for the infallible sun rising 365 times last year.

When reached at his condo for comment, God said, “Ya. know, that Robertson fellow really pisses me off! I've never said a word to the son-of-a-bitch. I've a good mind to tell him to bet on the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl this year.”

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