President Attends National Tree Lighting, Tree Surgeon Called

The National Christmas tree was illuminated by President Bush last evening. The tree remained erect for over four hours causing some concern among most of those present at the ceremony. The president, in a rare fit of compassion for anything, made an emergency call to a Washington area tree surgeon who came and cut the tree down.

“Everyone has heard those warnings on TV.” said the president, “You know, with those people sitting in bathtubs and all. Ya cain’t be too careful these days. What if these trees got the knowledge to make Nuke-u-lar weapons?”