Empty Threats: Are They Half Empty Or Half Full?

“A traitor is everyone who does not agree with me.”
—George III

Iranian President, Mahmood Ahmadinejad dropped by the Whitehouse during a press conference this morning. President Bush was surprised no more than Vice President Cheney when Ahmadinejad asked what Bush meant when he said, “From now on, underwear will be worn on the outside.”

Bush obviously flustered and surprised, hesitated for a moment, then said. “I never said that.”

“Aha!” rejoined Ahmadinejad, “Then you have been furnishing atomic weapons to Israel! What are their peaceful purposes for these WMDs? I thought you said that every country has a right to defend itself. That's all we want to do, O ye of little faith.”

“Well you’ve got to show us the Nuke-u-lar weapons you don't have,” said Bush.

Ahmadinejad turned out his pockets, pulled down his pants and said, “There, I don’t have any.”

”You’re lying,” said Bush. “Everyone knows you've got ’em. We sold hundreds of WMDs to the Shah. You’re working on enriching uranium. You gotta cut that out or we invade next week!”

“Mission accomplished.” said Ahmadinejad running across the White House lawn, “Woo, woo! See ya next week!”

This Is NOT A Test

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” —Vladimir Lenin

There are some people out there with nothing better to do than lie to the American people. Consistently. They are not unlike the ailens in a Twilight Zone episode who carried a book titled “How to Serve Man,” originally believed to be a philanthropic work but which upon further translation proved to be a cookbook.

The German people believed Hitler, until after the war. The Italians believed Il Duce, until after the war. The Americans believed George Bush before the war, but are having a problem with him now. 51% used to believe him when he was elected. That toatal (depending upon whose poll you believe) is anywhere from 33% to 40%. I wouldn’t call that a mandate for anything. He’s getting angry because he’s not telling us the truth.He can't make the lie stick. It’s called frustration. He’s barely coherent. He's ignoring his advisors whom everyone believed would save us from his stupidity.

I don’t think that even George W. Bush knows that he’s being lied to.

It's In The Eye Of The Beholder

“I think you're going to find out that westerns will be coming back. It's Americana, it's part of our history, the cowboy, the cattle drive, the sheriff, the fight for law, order and justice. Justice will always prevail as far as I'm concerned.” —Clayton Moore

These were the days when no one yet knew anything and the government could pull the wool over just about everyone's eyes. The great communicator, a B movie western actor caught the nation's fancy with straight talk, undyed hair, a failing mind and a ventriloquist named Nancy. His failing mind would save his administration a collosal embarrassment and a number of upper level administrators their careers.

If you believe in the right-wingnut conservative media, you'd think Reagan was George Washington, William Wallace and Jesus Christ all rolled into one sweet smelling ball. Unfortunately, the words, “I don’t recall,” though prophetic at the time, served the nation poorly when it came resolving justice regarding the Iran/Contra scandal.

He sure did look good, though.

Now Watch This Trick!

“Once annihilate the quackery of government, and the most homebred understanding might be strong enough to detect the artifices of the state juggler that would mislead him.” —William Godwin

This morning, President Bush appeared at a White House news conference with three red balls. While fielding questions from the press corps, Bush adroitly kept the three balls airborne.

He reminisced about the “soft ball” questions he used to take on the chin from Gary Guckert, and complained that even though Helen Thomas is a woman, she plays hardball.

He then challenged anyone in the crowd to a game of three-card-monty for 3 trillion dollars just to show he's got the best interests of the U.S. Treasury at heart. There were no takers, but a Chinese gentleman motioned him toward the cloakroom just off the Oval Office.

When asked about his wiretaps and spying upon U.S. citizens being declared illegal, Bush merely winked and stated that it really didn't matter what the court said. He wasn’t going to cease and desist as he'd been reassured by Alberto Gonzalez, performing a job no American would do, that everything was legal.

“Screw them,” he said. “If Reagan and Ollie can sell weapons to Iran and use the money to finance the Contras, I can spy on all y'all.”

What The Hell's The Hate Hannity Hotline?

“The real primary diseases of man are such defects as pride, cruelty, hate, self-love, ignorance, instability and greed; and each of these, if considered, will be found to be adverse to Unity.”—Edward Bach

I have a morbid curiosity about people like Sean Hannity. He's a nice looking man with a nice family, Irish Catholic, and a bag full of hate like no one I've ever known with the exception of Rush Limbaugh. How anyone can be as continuously wrong on the little points makes me crazy. He opens his can of worms nearly everyday to pull out this nightcrawler, “Osama Bin Laden's driver shouldn't have any rights!” when in actuality he means Saddam Hussein's driver. As I recall, Osama walks over rocks, is in the mountains of Pakistan anyway, and never had a driver. Hannity gets himself so worked up he can barely remember his own name.

Hannity's best sense is knowing when a caller is a liberal and smart enough to get the best of him in an argument. Sean immediately hits all his favorite, generic rant points culminating with his rudely cutting off of the call.

This ridiculous zombie, this ranting inconsequential being of a , dare I say, man? This clone of Limbaugh, this slut to Coulter. I’d like to go on but I won't. In an effort to be brief, God he makes me want to puke. Great American my ass.

Some schoolyard is missing a bully. And Saddam Hussein’s driver might yet ecsape noteriety, thanks to Sean.

What Kind Of Bliss Is This?

“Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty; what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.” —George Bernard Shaw

This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.
- A Christmas Carol, Stave 3: The Second of the Three Spirits

It's sad, but a fact, that the poor are always with us. No matter what we do there will always be those with less of whatever the rest of us enjoy and take for granted. Not so the case with ignorance. Shoudn't be anyway.

There is no reason for anyone to be kept in ignorance or misled by being fed false information. Fostering resentment, hate and misunderstanding through ignornace for one’s own advantage is insidious. Whether it be a government, a parent, a teacher, an imam, a priest, a peer or a pundit, promoting ignorance is an evil, malicious thing to do to anyone or any group. The human mind is a fallow field. Seeds, whether good or evil, once planted will grow to fruition.

Someday the ignorant will kill the comfortable rich. Being ignorant, they don't know any better. Keep looking over your shoulder. And they'll probably have plenty of help for the ever increasing ranks of the poor.

How About A Mulligan?

“You go back and read the Crusades history. The seeds of terrorism are being sowed as we butcher them and murder them in the name of the God of the West, and denigrated them and spat on them. You think that stuff doesn't come back to haunt you?” —John Shelby Spong

Maybe we should get another chance at this thing. No doubt the opportunity will eventually present itself if we “stay the course” because the course doesn't make much sense. Neither does spitting into the wind. A lot of golfers allow a mulligan on the first tee during a friendly round to compensate for a duffed drive. If only it were possible in a major tournament who knows what might happen.

Maybe we could redo this whole religion thing. After all it wasn't God who invented religion. Why should we be fighting over our curse of experiencing him. A horse doesn't “know” his rider anymore than a man can “know” God. He can only experience what it's like to be ridden.

Unfortunately, this is a major tournament.

It’s All About Me

“When I'm talking about -- when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.” —George W. Bush

Condaleeza Rice and her brother Redbeenzan we're talking about George Bush. Condi said how much she admired the man. Donald Rumsfeld agreed, as did Vice President, Dick Cheney, while he was cleaning his shotgun at the table during a recent fundraiser. Then Tony Snow told a story about what a great leader his audacity is.

Laura Bush told about how, at age forty, George W. Bush quit drinking alcohol, cold turkey, after she told him, “It's me or the bottle!” She couldn't remember what he said at the time, but assured everyone, while recalling that the George pitched over the sofa head first, that that is why he quit...alcohol. The jury's still out on cocaine.

Harriet Miers wrote him a nice note. Karl Rove absolutely adores the man as does ex-White House reporter/male prostitute, Rich Gannon AKA Gary Guckert, who wrote glowingly and warmly about his “soft ball” experiences with the “great man.”

Alberto Gonzalez supports the President. He’s working on rewriting the Constitution to prove his loyalty. He found some bad legal language in it that requires correction.

That's enought about me. What about George W. Bush?

Not A 100% Guarantee

“Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” —Napoleon Bonaparte

From an Article by Alessandra Rizzo

In a wide-ranging interview with German television broadcast Sunday, the pontiff spoke of Europe's role in Christianity, secularization in the Western world as well as the growing importance of churches in Africa and Latin America.

“So, Ratso, tell me the plan. ”

“Well, it looks like we gotta get all these people in the emerging countries scared before they figure out that there's nothing supernatural or magic going on here. Make them believe that they'll all burn in hell if they lay a finger on us. Tell only we can be the intermediator for their sins. Then we can tithe them. If only it weren’t for all those pederasty lawsuits against priests, we'd be doin’ pretty good right about now. We need this gig.”

“Sounds good. Do you think it will work? I mean converting the heathen.”

“It’s worked for over 2000 years already, at least in the Catholic church.”

“What about the muslims?”

“Oh, shut up.”

And We Thought Billy The Kid Was An Adenoidal Moron

“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” —Will Rogers

Ned Lamont: Who's the feller owns this shithole? You, fat man. Speak up.
John Kerry: Uh, I...I own this establishment. I bought the place from Greeley for a thousand dollars.
Ned Lamont: You better clear outta there.
Little Joe Lieberman: You just hold it right there! Hold it!
[Ned shoots Kerry]
Little Joe Lieberman: Well, you sir, are a cowardly son of a bitch! You just shot an unarmed man!
Ned Lamont: He should have armed himself if he was goin' to decorate his saloon with my friend.
Little Joe Lieberman: You'd be Ned Lamont out of Connecticut; killer of women and children.
Ned Lamont: That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another, and I'm here to kill you Little Joe for what you did to the Democratic party.

Some people just don't get it. They’re so caught up in their own joe-mentum that they can’t perceive that the other hand is not clapping.

Mother of Satan Gives Birth To Imbeciles!

“Hadji, did you bring the acetone?”
“No, I brought the bleach.”
“Mahmood, did you bring the drain cleaner?”
“No, I brought the bleach.”
“Wait a sec... I was supposed to bring the bleach...
we all brought bleach?


Our turbans will be whiter than white!”

Alright. This is really beginning to piss me off.

All innocence had been lost forever. It’s going to be impossible for people growing up after 9/11 to even begin to realize what air travel was like before 9/11. Prior to 1961 when the first hijacking to Cuba occurred, there were scant few incidents involving imbeciles and airplanes. Flying was wonderful, inexpensive, magical, and soooooo convenient. And now the morons are at it again.

It’s easy for people like Hannity to just rant and call these people islamic fascists. What’s hard is to figure out what we ever did to make the raw material that allows them to be so maleable and easily shaped into suicidal fanatics. Make no mistake: they hate us to the point of killing themselves. If that isn't sincerety, I don't know what is.

But then one really only has to look no further than this country to see how rabid red-staters have been shaped by the politics of hate preached by those who would put themselves on display as “great Americans.”

“Excellence in broadcasting” is another guise these charlatans put on to ease the fear created by these uncertain times (not to mention Homeland Security). Our venerated pill-popping, doctor-shopping mentor for “advanced conservative studies,” posturing as an intelligent source of news while fomenting division of the country. Arguing for more power to be given to our oligarchic president and fewer rights granted to us citizens for our own protection.

I’m really tired of all y’all messing up my sleep.

Why I Oughta...

You don't lead by hitting people over the head-that's assault, not leadership. —Dwight D. Eisenhower

George Bush waded into a crowd of reporters, accosted Helen Thomas and knocked her unconscious, yesterday.

“I thought she was going to ask me a question,” said the president by way of a defense, “and I didn’t know the answer!”

From her hospital bed the recovering, feisty Thomas said, “I'm only glad that it wasn't Dick Cheney. I might be dead. This guy is a wuss”

I Am Become Death

“I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” — J. Robert Oppenheimer

If for some inexplicable reason Hezbollah aided by Iran or Syria should gain the upper hand in the current conflict, the Israelis may feel it necessary to unwrap some of the toys their Uncle Sugar gave them to play with. I say this mostly because Israel keeps saying that a place like Bint Jubayl is in their hands only to find that master Po has snatched it back again. Same with some other areas claimed to be occupied and safe. One needs to read the goat's entrails. Only there are no ancients existing who posess the art of divination.

I do not defend Hezbollah. Allowed to use their own devices, they would undoubtedly attempt to annihilate not only Israel but the rest of us infidels as well. At the same time, they ARE fighting for their own country. (Remember how our patriots hid behind trees and picked off the redcoats, lobsterbacks, Hessians, mercenaries, Brits?)

I wish only that someone would come forth and say the real reason we're about to condone genocide is to provide a final solution before it gets too messy. I don't think Dubya would like to clean up the White House lawn if it happened here. Why should it happen there?

Now we’re told that there are a bunch of Egyptian students with fake visas who didn't report to school for classes at the University of Montana are at large in our U.S. of A, and that something of “biblical” proportions is slated to occur on August 22. Better gin up Homeland Security. Looks like it might happen here...AND there.

Yee-Haa!

Beyond Petroleum

“No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.” —P. J. O'Rourke

With those record oil profits this year it's funny how BP could allow its infrastructure in Prudhoe Bay to corrode to the point of leaking. It was obviously more important to put those profits in company and shareholder pockets than to conduct themselves as a legitimate business with a responsibility to maintain its equipment.

The pipelines are, supposedly, monitored and tested continuosly. Suddenly they discover corrosion. On 75% of them? Curious.


Either BP is an outright incompetent at running a business, or the pipeline is really not leaking and it's just more hype to increase the price of oil. They're shutting it down not for fun but for profit.

Actual unretouched photo, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?

Freedom’s Just Another Word For Nothing Left To Lose

“If there is any principle of the Constitution that more imperatively calls for attachment than any other it is the principle of free thought, not free thought for those who agree with us but freedom for the thought that we hate.” —Oliver Wendell Holmes

In many ways there is already freedom in the countries the U.S. would try to subject to our form of democracy in the middle east. Many people have nothing left to lose but their lives, and when someone with very few qualms about wasting life persuades these people that they might die for a higher cause, he creates a terrorist. There may be freedom, but it's got a whole lot of stupid founded by little hope to go with it. That is probably the cause of the world as a whole because it runs on an “I've got mine, now see if you can get yours” mentality: Rush Limbaugh Capitalism. Our problem as a nation is that, collectively, we've got more money than brains.
However, as the capitalists get greedier, the jobs here are going away. Maybe we'll get smarter or maybe we'll just start to lose hope too.

Condi Knows Democracy

“You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.” —George Bernard Shaw

The tens of thousands who gathered in Baghdad recently to voice their support for Hezbollah in their fight against Israel and the United States were greeted by Condi Rice who wasn't doing anything constructive anyway.

She attempted to convince the crowd that they were merely suffering the birthpangs of becoming a new democracy and that just because they all voted and elected their choice of leaders for their government, it wasn't a democracy until the United States said it was. The Secretary of State announced that she was a qualified midwife and told Muqtada al Sadr to boil some water, tear up those pretty yellow flags and make some diapers.

Ms. Rice and her Assistant, Butterfly McQueen who was overhead saying, “Lawzy, we got to have a doctor. I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies,” flew back to Crawford.

Yes, But It's Also A #@%*...

“Admittedly, a homosexual can be conditioned to react sexually to a woman, or to an old boot for that matter. In fact, both homo - and heterosexual experimental subjects have been conditioned to react sexually to an old boot, and you can save a lot of money that way.” —William S. Burroughs

I think that pretty well sums it up.

War Is Not Healthy For Children And Other Living Things

“Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” —George Bernard Shaw

Yesterday the spector of Donald Rumsfeld appeared in a bullet-pocked hut in Haditha. Reports stated that Rumsfeld was attempting to explain why U.S. Marines had killed 24 innocent women and children. According to local authorities, the apparition lasted for about 3 minutes, then vanished.

Rumsfeld, as usual, accomplished very little because no one could understand him. He spoke only in English. He defended the marines’ actions and appologized for any inconvenience. He also mentioned that he was “the great and powerful Oz,” and that he could stop the war and bring back all the dead if the little girl would bring back the walking stick of Osama Bin Laden.

He succeeded only in terrifying the Bee-jesus (or Bee-allah) out of the little girl who was already frightened half to death.

Apocalypse Sooner or Later

“What are they gonna say about him? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans? That he had wisdom? Bullshit man! ” —Photojournalist, Apocalypse Now

Colonel Kurtz needed to be stopped. He was operating outside of command. He'd taken the law into his own hands. He’d “gone native” as they used to say. He may have been a poet-warrior unlike some people we know, but he was a renegade. Renegades seem to have access to some inner truth only they have discovered. A truth no one else is privy to. A truth they may try to convey. At some point renegades seem to implode and usually take a lot of innocent people with them.

I don't think our current renegade posesses the crystaline logic to insure the world as we know it won't suddenly explode. I'd like to be wrong on this one. Maybe someone at command has the answer. I'm not holding my breath. I just hope he doesn't bring me Chef's head.

That resting heartrate of 48 per minute is unsettling.

That Goes For You, Too

“Is my hair on fire?” —Geoge W. Bush

After returning from his physical exam at Bethesda Naval Hospital, George W. Bush, a fatter and shorter man, stumbled out of Air Force I and gave an impromptu press conference. As he spoke to the crowd of seven, Israeli jets flew over and strafed the podium.

Ehud Olmert, prime minister of Israel said, “We don't play favorites. We had information that Hezbollah was hiding under the dais. Might have been a mistake. Anyway, we're sorry. No, really. No collateral damage this time. Oh, look at the time, gotta run.”

Unshaken by his ordeal, President Bush said, “I thought they were after Mel. Ya sure my hair's not on fire?”

Yes, But It's Also A Cigar...

“I think that a man should not live beyond the age when he begins to deteriorate, when the flame that lighted the brightest moment of his life has weakened.” —Fidel Castro

It looks like maybe it's time for old Fidel to bow out. He sure made the world an entertaining place for the last fifty years. Moreso than the latest bunch of crackpots. With Castro, you kinda always knew where you stood. He had a bizarre kind of integrity.

He should have played baseball. He had always wanted to but that revolution got in his way. I think we'll miss him when he's gone.

IAF Wins 2006 Marksmanship Award

“A celebrated people lose dignity upon a closer view.” —Napoleon Bonaparte

Israel appologizes. Israel can appologize all it wants. Israelis may feel actual sorrow. Israel may express contritition for having made a mistake which cost over 60 innocents in the Lebonese town of Qana their lives for having had the bad luck to take shelter in a building that was too near a target. Those who offend can tear their clothing and strike their chest and cry out “mea culpa.” And why not? That's what Mel Gibson is doing.

Blitzkrieg On A Roll: Famous Nazis, Part III

“In vino veritas.” —Old Roman Proverb

“So what? Yeah I said some bad things about the Jews. Can't a man even drink and drive anymore? No? Who made that law? Some Jew?!!! I mean like, what do you expect? I was drunk as a lord!”

As Long As I'm At It

“Wait ‘til Keith Olbermann sees this!”

'Nuff said...

You're A Great American!

“When a poor man, hungry and unseeing because his eyesight is failing, grabs me and starts begging, I feel the Nazi in myself. I abhor this man, and I want him to keep his hands off me."
—George Stevens

“Hi, Sean,” the caller says, “you're a great American.”
“Hi, you're a great American, too, my friend.” says Sean.
“No, Sean, you're a greater American than I am!”
“Oh, no, my friend you're a greater American than I am!”
"No, you are!”
“No, you are!
“OK, my friend we're both great Americans,” Sean concedes, “Thanks for calling!”
“Today,” continues Sean, “we're gonna talk with Ann Coulter, Bill O'Riley, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Ollie North, Joe Liberman, Laura Ingraham, Rush Limbaugh and Bill Clinton. What's that? Clinton had to bow out? Monica must be back in town. Why that liar! I guess that's what I'd expect from that adultorous, impeachable, liberal smut merchant! I always maintained that he'd never have been elected if Reagan were allowed to run again! Right, Ollie? OK, now if you're as afraid as I am of the Democrats and Commie, fag, dope-smoking liberals hijacking the country and getting in control of our defense and our security in the upcoming elections you'll want to work hard to make sure that that doesn't happen. I know I'm speaking for all you great Americans when I say that I'm just barely holding my fudge! I know that most of you have already stopped holding it! Go change you pants, but be very, very afraid.”

“God bless you all!”

“Uh, here's Dave from New Haven Connecticut; hi, Dave!”

“Hello, Sean, I'd like to take exception to our President's reluctance to push for a cease-fire in Lebanon...”

“Oh, for the love of Mike! You liberals are all the same, cut and run cowards. You think we should give people who are our sworn enemies, who want to kill us all, a chance to rearm? You know why Israel bombed Beiruit airport? So they can't fly in more weapons! You nut-bag! You stupid jerk. I’d like to come over there to New Haven and punch your lights out. I have caller ID. I know who you are and where you live!”

(Plays sound-bite) “Get off the phone, ya big dope!”

Have you ever heard such hateful, jack-booted, thuggish, egotistical, ratbag, blow-hard, hot-air drivel?

“GET OFF THE EARTH, YA BIG DOPE!”

Uh-Oh. They're Onto Us

“Bar association task force urges Congress to push for judicial review of Bush signing statements” —U.S. News & World Report

So Dubya says to Alberto, “Ya think we can get away with disguising a line-item veto as an executive signing statement to these bills?”

“Sure,” says Alberto, “It's perfectly legal. With the War Powers Act granting you carte blanche to do anything to protect the people from terrorists, you're good to go.”

”What about the Supreme Court?” asks Dubya, “They said I can't have a line-item veto.”

“Hey, this ain't no line-item veto, okay? This is you making signing statements saying you'll only do this if it's necessary to protect the country. All you gotta say is it's a matter of national security. Got it? As long as you keep everyone scared, you're in good shape. You can spy on private citizens, wiretap anyone. You can make illegal searches and seizures without a warrant. You can outlaw gay marriage, you can overturn Roe v Wade, you can torture anyone you want, you can out CIA agents with impunity, you can raise the dead and walk on water. Trust me, George.”

“Well, OK, then. Uh, one more thing, tell me Alberto, are you here doing a job no American would do?”

What Happened To Diplomacy?

“If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.” —Moshe Dyan

I remember when Israel stood for something besides beating up on Arabs. Yes, they could always do that too, and quite well. I cite the 1967 "Six Day War."

Almost everyone knows that conflict. In six days Israel brought Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Jordan to their knees.

But there was something else, something heroic about a fledgling nation building itself from very little and making the desert bloom.

Suddenly we have the moral equivalent of being shot dead for bumping into someone in a crowd. And it looks like another occupation of Lebanon is on the way despite Israeli assurances to the contrary. If Israel doesn't want to negotiate, it obviously doesn't want peace. That means it wants this war to go on.

I can't figure why the Bush administrationion has seen fit to not give even lip service to a cease fire demand. What the hell is "durable" anyway, unless it's another way of saying change will never happen and we won't stop the bombardment until we kill all of Hezbollah. The Bush administration is encouraging the slaughter of innocent Lebanese civilians.

Obviously no one is negotiating with Hezbollah, but is it a case of one annihilation versus another? Has Israel finally had enough? Are they really serious about killing off about a 1.4 billion islamists? We're led to believe that the islamists are committed to killing about 8 million Israelis and ALL of us. I don't like the odds. Someone had better do some talking and it shouldn't be Redbeenzan Rice's sister. She's not qualified. Ehud Olmert should be talking to Nasrallah. NOW.

What Is Your Major Malfunction, Numbnuts?

"The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose." —Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

Photo, circa 1969; from a recently discarded Dan Rather file

It seems like only yesterday.

I was on barracks fire patrol when I walked into the head. I saw him sitting there. I knew we were in trouble. No one was supposed to be there at that time, especially with a weapon, cocaine and ammo.

I ran to get the DI, and boy was I sorry I did that! The sarge was pretty hard on him. Called him a fatbody, a conservative and AWOL. I think he left some psychological marks.

The next thing I knew we were in Afganistan. I turned around once, and we were invading Iraq. Now we're on the verge of jumping into whatever is left of the middle east— Lebanon, Syria, Israel and Iran with whatever warm bodies we have left in the USA. One more spin and the Constitution will be in tatters.

You know, THIS guy in the latrine never had the guts to do what the guy in the movie did. He just wasted a bunch of us. Private Pyle did the right thing.

Another Fine Mess

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power’’
—Abraham Lincoln

I'm sure it won't be long now until the U.S. comes to the rescue of Israel. Not that they need any rescuing. I'm confident we won't be aiding the Lebanese. It's just in our best interests to keep our hand in the mideast's cookie jar. I'm also pretty sure the rest of the world will realize that something is backwards, despite the protestations of Rush Limbaugh.

I can't imagine what the world powers were thinking after World War II. What genius thought it might be a great idea to take Palestine from the Palestinians and drop the Jews from all over the world into a hornets' nest. Smack dab in the middle of every Arab nation in the world. I'm guessing they didn't want them anywhere in Europe. I'm also guessing that since God promised that holy land in the mideast to them a long time ago, they were determined to hold Him and every one else to it. They turned down a number of equally desolate desert areas which wouldn't have been nearly as suicidal.

And now our peaceful nation is more or less encouraging the Israelis to perform genocide on the Lebanese, never mind that Hezbollah is the supposed target. Yes, the nefarious bastards do hide amongst the civilian population with their Katyusha rocket launchers, and yes, the Lebanese government was supposed to drive out Hezbollah, but they do such a damned swell job taking care of the people, why would you throw them out? They've won the hearts and minds of the people already. They are represented in the government and provide a great deal of humanitarian aid that otherwise wouldn't exist. They are inextricably linked to everything. Even if they are a cancer, how can they be cut out without killing the patient?

Even by doing nothing for 13 days, we're supporting the heartless collateral damage. Actions speak louder than words...that is unless you don't act at all. Silence speaks for itself.

Where's My Enigma Machine?

The man says, "Get out of here,
I'll tear you limb from limb."
I said, "You know they refused Jesus, too,
He said, "You're not Him."
—Bob Dylan

Actually, Demons and Angels was a much better book than the DaVinci code.

It would appear that all the recent furor over Dan Brown's rewriting the history of Jesus' life is not only misspent energy, it is totally WRONG. After all, the book is a work of FICTION!

The desire to believe in the supernatural seems to be an innate characteristic of the human race. We go to great lengths to explain the inexplicable. People would much rather believe in the impossible than the probable; UFO's rather than weather balloons, Yettis and Sasquatch rather than a bear doing what a bear does in the woods, and an immortal carpenter's son who never had one prurient thought, much less to have given in to the temptation of a young prostitute's charms. (Not to mention all the magic tricks he did.)

Then again, truth can be stranger than fiction —even when it's fiction.