”Hey, C’mon, Shake!” “No Way!”

After running into the president at the east Lawn of the White House, Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi attempts to use a joy-buzzer on President Bush.

Fortunately, George had been given a heads up by Vice President Dick Cheney who was spying on the Speaker from the Rose Garden , his formerly undisclosed location.

Later Bush announced that in addition to the legislative, judicial and executive branches of the government, he had penciled into the Constitution a signing statement providing for a branch called Secret Miscellanea.

If There’s One Thing That Pisses Me Off, It’s Someone Taking Credit For What Others Have Done.

“There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.” —Indira Gandhi

Here we see the saviors of America congratulating themselves on having defeated the U.S. Senate by urging their listeners to contact their Senators and relate their displeasure with the “Amnesty” bill.

Rush, Sean and Laura never suspected that it might be that the American people who are always tuned into what’s right and what’s wrong. That when they need to, needing no urging from “talk radio”, they can speak for themselves in very articulate terms. This was not a right versus left issue. It was a “what’s DEAD WRONG“ issue.

The American people are not as stupid as Congress and the President think. Neither are they as stupid, gullible and in need of help thinking as Limbaugh, Hannity and Ingraham suppose.

What’s Up With Chris Matthews?

Why would anyone interview Ann Coulter? It’s like giving credibility to the incredible. Like telling me that I can have a meaningful conversation with the madman, speaking in snarls and drool, holding an ax outside my window . She may be intelligent, but she’s obviously a closet case who has never had a relationship with social creatures. No acumen, as they say.

And Chris, there’s gotta be a better way to get your ratings up. Ann runs a distant seventh to the non sequitor, Paris Hilton.

Dick Cheney—Neither Executive Nor Legislative..He’s el Guapo!

“El Guapo, I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education, but could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me?” —Jefe

We’re not sure what Dick Cheney will grow up to be. We aren't even sure that he knows what he wants to be. But it is becoming apparent that he is living in the secret bunker of his mind* at an undisclosed location, working on important projects involving secrets over which no one is allowed the remotest oversight.

There was another individual in history who created a system like this and called it "The Enabling Act.” That man was George W. Bush. Before him it was Adolph Hitler in 1933 after the Reichstag burned. And now you know the rest of the story.

*Attributed to Juan Williams

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream...

“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” —William Shakespeare

Deep thoughts occupy the minds of our nation’s heads of state. Rest assured that the evil-doers hellbent on wreaking havoc will have a tough time getting through the stalwart champions of the American people. Sleep well tonight. I know I will. I wasn't using my rights anyway.

Next, I'll DressUp Like Judy Garland

White House Sercret Service Agent Accidentally Fries Cheney’s Brain

In what turned out to be one of the most bizzare accidents to befall the Bush administration so far, Vice President Cheney narrowly escaped with his life today.

“It was all an accident, not unlike the accidental shooting of Cheney’s friend, Harry Whittington, in the quail hunting incident, and our bombing of Iraqi civilians,” said Tony Snow. “The good news is, you can't hurt the Vice President by burning holes in his head. The only way to harm him is to drive a stake through his heart.”

The alien grays, which have been genetically altered to make them look human, have a tendency for rays to shoot out of their eyes when they perceive anything dangerous, like a liberal, a democrat or a child snapping bubble-gum.

And He’s About The Only One

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all the time.” —Abraham Lincoln

Or is it like that ol‘ saying in Texas, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and... we won’t be fooled again.”

Compared to the left-leaning political blogs and the liberal media, the good ol’ boys at Mad Magazine look downright tame.

We see here a photo-op with Alfred E. Neuman after a three dollar a plate dinner during the 2004 election campaign. The President is good at listening to his generals on the ground in Iraq. He also seems to have taken a lot of advice from Alfred.