Approaching Entropy

Rush Limbo; How Low Can He Go?

2011-03-16T09:45:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh is about as filthy a human being as you'll ever pull out from under a rock. In this video the self-professed leader of the conservative world makes fun of Japanese refugees who have recycling set up in their refugee amp. He implies that the reason for the earthquake and tsunami was because of the Japanese penchant for creating as much harmony with nature as they can out of the dross of the earth that Gaia smote them. He's amazed that Diane Sawyer is impressed with their thoughtfulness. He'd probably spit on them.

Good God, John! Get A Grip On Yourself!

2011-01-12T15:45:00.000-08:00

Why is this man crying? He cries at the drop of a hat, the nostalgic memories of the drunks at this father's bar, the thought of a homeless puppy, or the picture of a cute little kitten. Ya think maybe he's running for something? He's seen crying in public more than Sarah Palin is seen crowing, and that's saying something.

Please, John, try to stop this public blubbering. Even Rush Limbaugh was the lamenting the chick-i-fying of the men of America, specifically the NFL, as was Laura Ingraham on her show calling American men, “Sissies” while plugging some conservative author's bogus book on the subject.

Real American men may cry, but they don't blubber like fools on camera in front of the nation nearly every day. We'd appreciate a little decorum. For our sake, please excuse yourself and go blubber in the men's room, or if the spirit moves you, the ladies' room.

Toilet Paper Patriots Join Tea Party Patriots; Accuse Obama Of Littering

2011-01-04T08:03:00.000-08:00

In a recent development in political parties, The Toilet Paper Patriots have joined forces with the TTP to form an even large cadre of asshole oriented activists. President Judson Phillips, the overwhelming driving force behind the movement said that their objective is to keep big government small, and make small government big so they will be able to control everything.

They are against big government spending, so they are apparently against the national defense, infrastructure, social security, medicare, unemployment insurance, the armed forces, farm subsidies, health, education and welfare of any sort, and repayment of the national debt, among the myriad expenditures the government makes. They are also against all taxes which might create a source of government revenue to pay for the lifestyles to which they've become accustomed. They also appear to be contesting parts of the U.S. Constitution, specifically the 14th amendment.

I, for one, agree with them. We can all go back to the glorious time when we lived in caves and ate raw meat, when the world was a little smaller and more balanced, as we were all third world nations and could compete successfully with other nations for nuts and berries. Where all you needed for the national defense was a good club and a belief that one day you would find the god of fire.

The tree of TP must be fertilized from time to time with the excrement of apoplectic wing-nuts and the tears of the self-righteous.

The GOP Thinks You're Stupid. Well You've Proven Them Right Again!

2010-12-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

This post contains very little satire.

John Boehner, drunk as usual.

As it turns out, way back when George Bush was president the groundwork was laid for a terrific ploy by the GOP to create a conundrum that would bamboozle the American people into such contrarian behavior that it makes one's head spin trying to figure out how they were able to pull it off.

No one in the Democratic party wanted the cuts back then, and even Republicans like John McCain said, “I cannot in good conscience support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us, at the expense of middle-class Americans who most need tax relief.” The key seems to lie in the fact that the cuts were mandated to expire in the second year of Obama's presidency creating a time-bomb of damned if you do, damned of you don't, which in either case leaves Democrats holding the bag and the Republicans holding the power.

Now in order to appear to uphold their principles the Democrats are forced to push through the tax cuts for the poor and the middle class at the expense of the ever-draining government coffers. They are ensnared in what Dan Bartlett, one Bush adviser stated, “The fact that we were able to lay the trap does feel pretty good, to tell you the truth.”

Pure chicanery. The canard here seems to be the fact that the GOP will not be able to save their richest friends form having to pay a little extra as they did in the Clinton era. However, Warren Buffet admits, "billionaires like me, do not create jobs, do not direct that jobs are created and the money we have makes no difference in job growth. We should be taxed!"Remember that the next time someone mentions "Trickle Down Economics."

Rush Limbaugh Versus The TSA

2010-11-22T11:57:00.000-08:00

You may wonder why some one as famous and recognizable as Rush Limbaugh prefers to fly on private jets ( his own) rather than rub elbows with the common rabble of the American people with whom he shares so much and who love and admire him. It's pretty clear from these actual un-retouched photographs from the airport scanner Rush had to pass through on his way back from the Dominican Republic.

Other than the "heat" Rush is packing, it's obvious he doesn't pack much more in the way of a "package" other than his Oxycontin stash. I do see in his right hand pocket, however, the key to his safety deposit box where he keeps his Viagra to help him deal with "shrinkage."

Limbaugh Uses Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals To Push His Agenda Of Hate and Intolerance

2010-11-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

Rush Limbaugh has embraced Alinsky's Rules for Radicals, using the tactics put forth for his own nefarious purposes. He especially embraces Rule#5:"Ridicule is mans most potent weapon." There is no defense, it's irrational. It's infuriating it also works as a key pressure point to force the enemy into concessions.

Extreme right-wing-nut types are radicals, too, and they use the same tactics to destroy the country. On purpose!

The Other America Marches on Washington By Kyle-Anne Shiver

2010-10-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

“Yes, folks, there are two Americas: the authentic America of community builders and the other America, made up of socialist group-thinkers, moochers, and no-accounts, many of them living off government grants or welfare checks.”

This is the crap, pun intended, that the wing-nuts want Americans to believe. That these destitute people, n'e'r do wells, if you please, are being pig-slopped by big government. The government sees fit to spend their money on people who are, OMG, forgive me, poor, needy and unemployed by the "small businesses” who would rather sit on their money than expand their businesses and hire workers, since "there's nothing in it for me."

There is something in this for the wealthy. The tax payers are investing in keeping the hoards of the destitute away from you door and murdering you in your sleep.

The other America? Sorry. There is only one America, and I have the feeling you don't belong, Kyle-Ann Shriver. If you need to dissent this much, you should join AlQaida and do what your conscience dictates.

Rush Limbaugh. Big, Fat, Stinking Liar.

2010-09-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have never seen anyone so worthy of hate in my life. An ego that dwarfs everything and defies all understanding. Posturing fool and buffoon. I can't wait til the democrats carry the day and prove him totally wrong. His new tactic which portrays all conservatives as "normal" people. This is know as "plain folks" propaganda. Learned that in high school about 1961. He's already been through "glittering generalities" and"name calling." He's almost out of tactics and can only hope the morons comprising the tea-bag movement don't catch on and stay stupid.

The Blowhard And His Beard

2010-08-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh demonstrates his understanding of the universal symbol for lesbian sex.

Prior to this he demonstrated his understanding of male homosexual sex by flipping the camera a two handed middle finger. During his post-nuptial celebration, Limbaugh also demonstrated his ability to dance by bumping and grinding his way out of his hotel suite with what he refers to as “Rush's Little Helpers,” his bottle of 200 mg Viagra® tablets.

Citing his independent scorekeeper on his correctness, Rush noted that he's always about 99.6 percent correct in as much as he never really says anything that is not some outlandish opinion or lie and could in no way be construed or misconstrued as the truth. He's only pronounced a few words wrong since his program started which accounts for the .4% discrepancy.

“I sure can talk some shit, though,” he observed.

He and his bride then retired to separate rooms.

The Tolerance Of Our Great Country And The Guarantee By Our Constitution To Freedom Of Religion...

2010-08-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

” Of all religions, the Christian should of course inspire the most tolerance,

but until now Christians have been the most intolerant of all men.”—Voltaire

...seem to be having a conflict with some people who believe this is not the land of the free and the home of the brave, but the land of the tea (party) and the home of the knave. The incredible intolerance of this movement against the freedom to practice religion as the worshipper sees fit, seems to be based on a long standing and incorrect belief that this country was founded and controlled and populated by white Anglo-Saxon Protestants of impeccable European extraction.

Led by none other than this man, Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich, product of a broken home and many sordid affairs and faux pas including asking his wife hospitalized and recovering from cancer surgery for a divorce, the movement thumbs their collective noses at the Constitution in favor of their esoteric beliefs that theirs is the only true God.

Hello? Would you trust this man with your daughter or your religion...or for that matter your country? The problem with snake oil salesmen is not just the salesman himself, but what he puts into the product. It could be harmful or fatal if swallowed. Assholes like Gingrich don't come with a warning or the phone number of your local poison control center.

Laura Ingraham Masturbates On The Radio

2010-07-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

Radio talk show host and self proclaimed conservative diva, Laura Ingraham fondled herself in public again. Laughing her way around the country on her book promotion tour, the opinionated purveyor of right wing nuttiness screeched her harpy harangues over the airwaves to her own great joy and satisfaction.

Not only did her lewd behavior entertain her faithful fan base, but it also allowed her a venue from which she could launch attacks on liberals because of the way they look, sweat, smell or sound. Her weapons of shrieks and cheap shots keep everyone in stitches.

If Laura thinks she's a wit, she may be half right.

Limbaugh Craves Wedded Bliss For The Fourth Time

2010-07-05T12:43:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh opens his whale-like maw to show the piece of raw meat he's chewing on to keep him from chewing his new bride. Blind since birth, Rush's wife, the former Kathryn Rogers, decided to give up her guide dog in favor of Rush who likes to get down on all fours scamper around the bedroom barking like a doggy. Rush confided that he likes to drink out of the toilet and have "accidents" on the living room carpet. This is Rush's fourth attempt at married life. We all continue to wish him well and continued success. On the other hand, it may not take Kathryn that long to figure out why his first three wives left him and wound up with nice, fat alimony checks. God knows he can afford it.

Limbaugh Oinks His Way Back From His Honeymoon With An Attitude About Kids

2010-06-17T06:41:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh is uninformed, arrogant, ignorant and vicious. He thinks he is buying lunches for hungry children and hates it, yet he'll blow a million dollars to have Elton John sing at his wedding. What a disgusting, pompous, fat ass. It's not that parents are allowing their children to starve. It's merely that they cannot afford to feed them. Fat rich bastards like Rush couldn't possibly understand.

Obama Tells Rush Limbaugh To "Play With Himself!"

2010-05-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Wearing his semen encrusted golfing shorts, Rush Limbaugh stalks toward an intrepid photographer to demand the film from his digital camera. Rush has continued to play with himself, after President Obama denied him an opportunity to play golf with him. Since his arrest bringing someone else's prescription for Viagra into the country from the Dominican Republic, Rush has been seen repeatedly spanking his monkey on the golf course.

When reached for comment, Limbaugh began thrusting his pelvis, grunting, "Uhl, uhl, uhl!"

Imbecilic Hoosier Republicans Nominate North Carolinian Lobbyist To Be Their Candidate For State Senator Senator In Fall Elections

2010-05-05T10:05:00.000-07:00

In an unprecedented action, thousands of Hoosiers went to the polls in the primary elections to pick their candidates for all sorts of offices in this fall's election. Among the stupidest moves was the nomination of Dan Coats for GOP candidate for the Senate. Coats, who was born in Michigan, educated in Illinois and received a law degree from Indiana University because it was cheaper there, has distinguished himself as an anti-gun, pro-life, pro big banking politician who once claimed that he questioned Bill Clinton's timing of the attacks on terrorist bases in Afghanistan to divert attention from his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

He served briefly as a senator from Indiana while he was robbing people in Fort Wayne disguised as a lawyer.

George Bush made him an ambassador to Germany where he pre-rubbed Angela Merkel's shoulders.

When he'd had enough of that gig he became a lobbyist for the banking industry where he could make really big money, and has been extremely influential for the likes of Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, our old friend Chrysler and was instrumental creating the TARP fund which bailed out the banks with money he found in the taxpayers' pockets. And because he was a resident of North Carolina, the morons of Indiana want him for their Senator. He is expected to beat the blue dog democratic party candidate, Brad Ellsworth in the fall general elections.

Obviously, the press honored Coats' request, and not one imbecile in Indiana knew that he was really from North Carolina.

Congressional Bathroom Humor

2010-04-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

Mitch McConnell, imbecile senator from Kentucky and his girlfriend John "The Bone" Bohner are all smiles while they take a break from saying, "No!" to the democrats and the country and head to the men's room for a little wide stance drill in the Congressional rest room.

The republicans have steadfastly refused to even bring the bill to reform Wall Street to the senate floor for discussion leading the world to believe that they have something to preserve or gain by allowing the tycoons from the financial district to keep giving them money.

When asked what it would take to get the republicans to open debate on the topic of financial reform, Bohner said, “About a $1,500,000, give or take.”

Travelin’ On With The Taliban, Or How I Plan To Spend My Summer Vacation By Hamid Karzai

2010-04-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

In an announcement that surprised practically no one, Hamid Karzai said that if he was pushed around by the international community, specifically the United States, he was going to run away from home and join the circus.

An aid and close confident to Karzai said he saw the Mayor of Kabul looking wistful and packing a bandanna with toothpaste, toilet paper and a few boxes of Capn' Crunch along with a "football" of cash. He also assured the world community, that, “Karzai’s serious, damn it. Come on, guys, honest, he really means it! If you don’t believe me, he will break your back across his knee... like so!”

On his way out the door, Karzai waved to the media and said, “Hakka durka, hakka durka.”

Sarah Palin Says John McCain Spent 5 Years As A POW So You Have The Right To Free Speech.

2010-03-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

John McCain threw up in his mouth when she said that. Cindy thought it was funny because she knew he spent five years as a POW because he got shot down over a rice paddy and got captured.

Nothing really ever occurred as a result of his spending all that time there. Certainly nothing to do with the first amendment to the constitution. His bones healed funny and the NVA and the VC got a good confession out of him as a war criminal for dropping bombs on civilians. THAT came from that.

He stayed there for 5 years because his chances of being court martialed because of his confession upon his release were pretty big then. Besides, his first wife had gained weight since he went away and didn't suit him so he divorced her when he finally did get home so he could get back to his wild life of drinking and whoring.

Rush Limbaugh Continues His Tirade

2010-03-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Rush Limbaugh's mouth is getting ahead of his brain lately. He advocates obeying the law, tells a law student to emulate the 60s, go out and smoke marijuana and , who knows, maybe Obama will come out and smoke pot with you, then catches himself advocating breaking the law and backs down. Problem is he's already said what he wants the ditto-heads to hear and act on, but has absolved himself of any wrongdoing.

This guy is a real sack of poop, spreading filth and lies for the benefit of his own enrichment and engorged ego.

P.T. Barnum was wrong a lot less than Limbaugh claims to be.

Urged On By Conservative Media, Republican Mob Threatens Democratic Party Reps And Senators With Violence.

2010-03-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today on his radio program Rush Limbaugh made a case for inciting people to violence by saying the Democrats did it first. I guess that makes it OK?

I have a suspicion that the monster he, Sarah and the rest of the conservative wing-nut Republicans are after is the man they hate so vehemently because once again they lost and they just can't stand it. It's eating them alive that 32 million more people will not be denied the common decency afforded their wealthier countrymen.

That the wealthier countrymen may have to ante up a little for it seems to be their primary bone of contention. Is it that hard a pill to swallow?

Death Panels Are Official! Death Camps Are Good To Go.

2010-03-22T14:33:00.000-07:00

Immoral politicians last evening voted to destroy the America espoused by the radical right. Through their incredible blathering today, the Fox News Network's pundits blustered and fumed over the passage of the Health Care Reform Bill. With spittle on their lips they bellow and used their same besmirching vocabularies to try as best they could to explain how such a thing could happen. They couldn't. But they did sell some product and make noise.

We the People, all 1500 to 2000 foul mouthed wing nuts who had overflowed the street corner near the Capitol, sputtered their epithets and expressed their dismay in a vain attempt to defeat the work of the representatives. Convinced of their righteousness and assured by Limbaugh, Hannity and other bellicose media types, they had a little party and went home.

Hannity is kicking off his Conservative Victory Tour. What was the victory? The Republicans definitely lost. He's also got another book for sale.

Oh, yeah, and President Obama has a veto for the next three years, so you can forget about repealing this bill until then at the earliest.

Health Care Bill Passes House Vote.

2010-03-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

While John Boehner was either in the men's room practicing his wide stance or the tanning booth at the House chamber, the democrats managed to finally push the Health Care Reform Bill through. After myriad fits and starts and procedural votes on points of procedure, hours of stalling and posturing with fake debate, the 2500 pound sausage was carried around the chamber and applauded like the village hero chaired through the market place.

Republican minority leader Boehner knocked back a few bourbons and addressed the media, saying, "What's good for the American people, is good for the country. Thank you and God bless the United States of America. "

I'm Glad I Didn't Watch.

2010-03-10T08:26:00.001-08:00

If I would have watched, I would have seen this. And this is as bad as the picture I have in my head of Rahm Emmanuel confronting Eric Massa in the showers at the Congressional gym.

As Count Floyd would say, "Ooh, that's scary!"

How’s That Hopey Changey Thingy Workin’ Out For Ya?

2010-02-08T10:23:00.000-08:00

It would appear that Sarah has been doing more for Alaska than Barack Obama has been accused of trying to do for the United States. She actually brags about how her bilking of the big oil companies has enabled her to redistribute to the citizens of Alaska a hefty little paycheck every year as long as Exxon, BP and the rest of the drill here, drill now crazies keep tearing up the north slope.

Windfall profit taxes on Big Oil are here to stay in Alaska. Increasing state tax is OK with the Republicans. It's increasing federal taxes they have a problem with. It might get them kicked out of their cushy jobs in Washington. Anyway, Robin Hood and her merry band of Socialists have already worked their magic for the poor people of Northwood Forest and are movin’ on to a run for the White House in 2012.

How are those free building supplies paid for by Wallisa workin’ out for ya, Todd?

I Think I Found Someone To Sue...uh, Maybe...

2010-01-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

“Don't get mad. Get everything! ” —Ivana Trump

Now, if I could only find an English solicitor who would work for free! My flaming minions and I would be rich and famous and hold dominion over the world! Someone would finally notice me. My life would be complete.

I am persecuted, reviled and besmirched. My reputation suffers from the slings and arrows of the truth, and they called me names.

Laugh at me, will they? These insults are almost as real if not entirely imagined. My enemies will pay!

I will have my revenge! Bwah,hahahahahahahah!
Uh, oh. Is that someone at the door?

Why Would Haitians Make A Pact With This Man?

2010-01-14T12:45:00.001-08:00

Because he's the only one who knows about the deal. I mean, Napoleon lived a long time ago, and those who bargained with the devil to throw off the yoke of French oppression are certainly long dead.

But the devil is obviously immortal and is alive and well in the likes of Pat Robertson. This filthy minded, self-righteous hypocrite dares to tempt God’s hand with his blasphemy? If there were a God, Robertson would be dead. That he’s alive proves God’s non-existence.

This creepy wad of filth belongs under a ten ton block of concrete, conscious and aware, with his life oozing out of his ears.

Rush Limbaugh Damns Obama To Hell, Gets There First. Congratulates Himself On His Prescience.

2010-01-13T09:36:00.000-08:00

Nauseating windbag and inveterate bigot, Rush Limbaugh, continues his vendetta against President Obama and his efforts to bring order to a badly fragmented country. Ever delighting in his growing power over the mental midgets of this country, Limbaugh constantly hectors the President and purveys the selfish conservative values which have made this country the laughingstock of humanity.

Proclaiming that Obama is deliberately ruining the country "on purpose" sounds like Darren McGavin telling his wife she used up all the glue in Christmas Story. Limbaugh points to the president’s efforts to provide health care for the country as some sort of monstrous plot, his efforts to stimulate the economy as the “pork-u-lous” bill, a strange thing for a greedy pig like Rush to say.

He blames all of America’s ills on Obama rather than the selfish goals of people like himself, who through chicanery and exploitation of those less intelligent and more in need, continue to pull the wool over almost everyone’s eyes.

Of what possible use is the destruction of this country to President Obama? To what end does it benefit anyone?

Woods of Metal. Feet of Clay.

2009-12-06T06:41:00.001-08:00

Oh, how the mighty are fallen. However it only goes to show you how hypocritical the human beast is.

The other lesson to be learned here, once again, and perhaps the most importantly, is that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially if she is wielding a golf club.

Sarah Does It Again!

2009-11-24T21:11:00.000-08:00

As is her wont to do, Sarah Palin has gone hog wild once again with a big book-tour, kicking off her 2012 presidential run only a “smidgen” early. When asked why she had beaten her deadline by nearly six months and was promoting the book so soon, Sarah said, “I like money.”

When asked if anyone would remember her in 2012, her reply was, “Yah, you betcha!”

Then she did what her slogan said, and the crowd went wild. The rest is history.

Anticipating 2012

2009-11-18T10:18:00.001-08:00

Open season on wolves. Shooting them from aircraft is really sporting. Well maybe not so sporting as viciously cruel. It would be too bad if Sarah got lost in the woods without her rifle. I wonder what kind of bounty one of her severed legs brings?

Rush Limbaugh Is Dying For Your Sins!

2009-10-15T10:57:00.001-07:00

A tearful Rush Limbaugh, weeping inconsolably, went on the air during his radio show at the EIB network choking back tears and racist epithets. His weeping was for himself and his suffering at the hands of the NFL and it players who refused to support his bid of ownership. When reached for comment, deceased NFL union president Gene Upshaw said, “I feel bad for Rush’s dream of owning the Rams, but most of the black players in the NFL long ago grew tired of his racist remarks, and being owned by a white man still kinda goes against the grain, if you know what I mean.”

Nonetheless, Rush soldiered on ranting against all manner of enemies, real and imagined. Tearfully thanking all his supporters, athletic and family and blaming the war on “conservatism.” He now calls everyone a racist. If you attack Rush, you are a racist. And any of these racists who attack him are attacking you Americans...at leas those dim bulbs who listen to him.

In case you didn't know Rush, your party and the conservatives actually lost the election. Leader of the Republican party or not, Rush, you lost, and you will lose again because about 60% of this country is for success of both Obama and the country you claim has been hi-jacked “on purpose.” Purpose being, according to you, that this is a great conspiracy designed to ruin the country. I ask you what possible purpose could that be. It’s the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot before you run the marathon. I believe Mr. Linbaugh is truly as insane as his wanna be cohort, Glenn Beck, the other FOX crybaby.

Go froth and mortify, Rush. Self-pity really becomes you.

Glenn Beck Really Is Insane! No. Really!

2009-09-21T10:51:00.001-07:00

Anyone who can go from saying, from his own personal experience, that the United States has the worst health care in the world to a complete about face to say it has the best health care in the world to serve his own purpose is not only a manifest liar, but a lunatic. I say that primarily because he tearfully believes what he is saying to be the truth.

His poor drug and alcohol addled brain has him sobbing about his great patriot dreams while he gets mad as hell and is not gonna take it anymore without really ever explaining what it is he ain’t gonna take.
And anyone who can single-handedly lose over 60 sponsors for his network has got to be a horrible liability. The mere fact that he's not quaking in his boots, pissing and shitting in terror, has me convinced that he is truly a nut-job.

You wanna keep that sacred underwear clean now, ya hear, Glenn?

It’s Good To Be Him.

2009-08-20T07:40:00.001-07:00

“A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance
when the need for illusion is deep.”—Saul Bellow

The inordinate amount of power this genius wields over the under-educated American is frightening. The police blotters are full of this type of moronic, knee-jerk reactionary bumpkin. The rest of them are making their homes at Town Hall meetings, yelling, carrying guns and generally making a public nuisance of themselves.

Thanks, Rush. You tie half your brain behind your back and laugh all the way to the bank because, even as a brain damaged moron, you can still outwit these imbeciles and make them believe your impossible lies. Hope that cyst on your butt never heals. If it does, you'll be mute the rest of your life.

Bull Goose Looney Steps Out, Calls It Quits!

2009-07-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.” —Vince Lombardi

It’s strange to see how others see themselves. I'm sure Robert Burns would be amused with Sarah Palin. The self-delusional governor of Alaska threw it all in the dumper in what William Kristol referred to as “crazy like a fox” ramblings, in an incoherent speech. The speech , if indeed it can be called that, was insane from the aspect that she didn't have to raise all the questions. No one would have suspected lame duck or quitter if she hadn’t said anything about them. Same withFBI investigations.

Obviously she couldn't take the heat, so she left the kitchen to go fishing for sockeye salmon. Makes a lot of sense for an ambitious narcisist with a hand full of gimme and a mouth full of much obliged. And to blame the blogs and the press for picking on her and her family when it's only a natural feeding frenzy that every controversial public figure has to suffer, is beyond comprehension. I guess she deserved better.

And if she thinks she's gonna make a comeback from nowhere in 2012, she is truly a whack-job!

Bernie Madoff, The Man Who Screwed A Nation

2009-06-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

This is the face that launched a thousand fits. The crook of all time. His attorneies were hoping to get him off with twelve years. Boy, were they surprised. 150 big ones is what Judge Chin handed Bernie. Guess he'll never see the promised land again.

And no remorse. He'd do it all over again if he had the chance, and since his wife, Ruth, ends up with $2.5 million more than any of his victims, I'm sure she'd do it all again as well. It also sounds like Bernie was actually doing it all over the place, too, according to his little black book filled with masseuses. He's gonna enjoy the big house big time, something tells me. Or it him.

This Man IS A War Ciminal

2009-05-22T08:13:00.001-07:00

To be arrested on sight. Dick Cheney should be handcuffed and manacled, taken to a prison and water boarded until he confesses to his crimes, then put on a Lear jet and sent directly to the Hague to stand trial. I believe he might admit that water boarding is actually torture if his pacemaker doesn't blow a gasket and kill him first. After having his fair trial, he should be hanged.

As Jesse Ventura said, “Give me Dick Cheney, a board, a bucket of water and one hour and I'll have him confessing to the murder of Sharon Tate.”

Evil, pure and simple. This man has no soul.

Limbaugh Pukes The Truth

2009-05-19T10:16:00.001-07:00

The main problem with Rush Limbaugh's truth is that it is a lie. Our former Vice President and war criminal, Dick Cheney thinks he's a better Republican that Colin Powell, former general and Secretary of State.

As spokesman for selfish wastefulness, Rush has done a magnificent job of fomenting dissent throughout the nation. As self-proclaimed champion of all seven deadly sins, Limbaugh lauds the abuse of energy, urging people to keep their lights on constantly, turn up their heat till they roast in the winter, turn down the AC til their houses frost over in the summer and drive the biggest gas guzzlers in the world to use up all the gas and pollute the atmosphere until the sky turns the color of raw umber. (For those of you in Rio Linda, that's yellow-brown.)

This human wad of filth and phlegm denigrates anyone with a different viewpoint than his own and insists that he and all his capitalist rapist buddies, those captains of industry who curse the unions and use the common worker to their own ends are responsible for any greatness this country may claim to. This bat-wing puking fat-cat pretends to be one of the little people so he can sell you Bellau Wood flooring, Zicam®, Sleep Number ™ beds, and whatever automotive Behemoth GM makes in order to be paid $400 million on his contract with Clear Channel Radio.

He does this all with the utmost humility, his psyche handicapped by having half his brain tied behind his back and his intellect on load from God. Just don't stand in his way when he wants to tell you the truth.

The GOP Has Found Its Voice At Last

2009-04-21T08:28:00.001-07:00

I guarantee he speaks for all conservatives, all the noble Americans who espouse life, liberty and the pursuit of the almighty dollar. Yes, none other than Rush Phlegmball speaks for you, speaks for me. Not those long-haired maggot infested liberals who want to take over your country. Problem is it's their country too, and judging by the election last fall, about 56% of the entire country voted for the man Rush would like to fail. It would appear he wants the country to fail as well. What could a president possibly hope to gain by destroying his own country, I ask myself. Absolutely nothing. If Obama fails, we all fail. Oh, maybe not Rush. After all he's got his sweet deal and $400 million. He's also got a private jet and the Dominican Republic and all those wonderful boys are not that far away. If you've got money, who needs a country?

Rüsh Never Stops. The National Conservative Party Never Stops!

2009-04-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Conservatism equates with your basic preservation of a national system. Nationalism. You love your country. To the point that you will try to destroy anything that would attempt to change your myopic, narrow-minded view of the world. You have an opinion, and unfortunately for you, it is so limited in scope that you can and will not see the future. In other words, you are doomed.

You flounder about in your own excrement. You curse what is and pine for what you never had. You are alone with your greatest enemy, yourself...and you hate it worse than death.

Limbaugh Becomes A Neighborhood Organizer In Somalia

2009-04-15T08:27:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's official. Rush Limbaugh has decided to forgo his lucrative $400 million job as a talk show host behind the golden EIB microphone to join up with Somali youths in an effort to convince young Somalis to join the maritime recruitment movement of that country.

As the primary advocate for the conservative, capitalist lifestyle, Rush is expecting as many as seven recruits to be persuaded by his hyperbole and join his cause against the President of the United States and his vicious handling of innocent teenagers. Rush has suffered some disappointments lately, especially in the area of only being able to convince three people to wish failure for our new and untested president.

“I’m expecting to get a lot of mileage out of this one,” said Rush. “A few nautical miles, anyway.”

Limbaugh Sides With Priates Against Obama

2009-04-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

In a surprise move, Rush Limbaugh shocked the country by branding Barrack Obama a murderer for ordering the deaths of Somali Muslim pirates. The great windbag portrayed the pirates as teenage wannabe maritime recruiters for the country of Somalia. They only want to keep their country safe from invaders.

Rush maintains that the media would have proclaimed Bush a murderer for doing the same, so he sees nothing wrong with applying his aberrant logic to our current president's desire to end piracy on the high seas and save a captain's life.

I haven't heard Rush's solution to the problem, but I'm sure it has something to do with suing Al Gore for pushing global warming and paying ransom to the Somali teenagers out of his own swollen wallet.

Thanks, Rush. You're a saint.

Rush Limbaugh, America's Only Hope

2009-03-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

That's nice, because with him, we are doomed. We're condemned to drink the Kool-Aid he purveys so that we may all become good conservatives just like him. We must hope that Obama's policies fail, so Sarah Palin can seize power and lead us on aerial wolf hunts and abortion clinic bombings and doctor murders. Yeah, right.

All hail the lovable little fuzzball. Look at him, children. He's as ugly as the lies he spreads!

You Betcha! Yah!

2009-03-26T09:22:00.001-07:00

Sarah Palin is the biggest pain in the neck. She simply will not go away. She seems to generate great interest among the great hordes of Republicans who have nothing to live for. Their party has no one to whom the hopeless can turn except for the likes of Rush Slimeball to lead their cause.

Because she talks funny, Sarah holds their rapt attention. She is hard to understand and one needs great concentration to translate the accent into cogent English. If she is the best they've got, I really feel sorry for their plight in 2012. And poor Trig will be dragged around on the stage for years like the stage prop he's become.

The saddest thing is that she actually believes she's got a chance to be president. Yikes!

Who Is Sarah Palin And Why Does She Keep Coming Back?

2009-02-27T10:19:00.000-08:00

More than slightly mild retardation, seems to run in the Palin family. Sarah herself seems to be no exception to the malaise. Given that her son Trig, no doubt named for a either part of a gun or Roy Roger’s horse, has Downes syndrome, but she herself has displayed some remarkable lack of intellectual capacity during interviews.

One nagging question remains to be answered, however. Why doesn’t she retreat into obscurity? Better yet, run. Why doesn’t the Democratic party in Alaska find someone to run against her for governor? She couldn't be that difficult to beat. When 2012 rolls around who’s going to draft her from the daycare center she’ll no doubt be running?

Why would the Republican party even want to touch this airborne wolf-sniper and knot of banal, redneck outrage?

Former Treasury Secretary Paulson Apologizes For Being A Bad Boy, Then Laughs

2009-02-24T10:53:00.001-08:00

Called before an angry congressional committee to explain what he was thinking, former Secretary of the Treasury, Hank Paulson explained that he got scared that the American people would find out that he and Bernanke were merely performing slight of hand and prestidigitation while addressing the imminent collapse of the banking system. He said he also saw nothing wrong with taking care of a few old friends with a few billion dollars on his way out the door that “no one will ever miss.’

He also said that creating currency by government fiat was stupid and would never work, even though that’s what the government has been doing since the country went off the gold standard in August of 1971.

“In essence,” stated Paulson, “we’re doomed. Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Ann Coulter, Insignificant Insect & Menace To The Truth

2009-02-13T10:00:00.001-08:00

Prolific author, plagiarist and voter fraud felon is celebrating having her jaw un-wired. In fact she crammed 3 gob-stoppers, 2 un-shelled walnuts and a three-foot flourescent light tube into her prodigious maw. After chewing for ten minutes, Coulter spit out the splinters and pronounced she was ready to take on Noam Chomsky, but only if he chews on razor blades first.

Comrade Beck Threatens Us All.

2009-02-05T13:58:00.001-08:00

As is his usual hammy blather, once again the Limbaugh wannabe is ranting about socialism. It’s OK for George Bush to give the banks $350 billion, but should Barrack Obama see fit to keep the ball rolling, Beck skips the socialism gambit and goes for the dreaded triple-dog-dare of communism!

This pygmy among men, this pig among pigs, must get on the bandwagon with Limbaugh, Hannity et al, to hope that Obama fails. Good, nay, great Americans one and all.

They have already failed not only their viewers and fans. They’ve failed their country. To think that these conservative, capitalistic windbags have anyone but themselves in mind is to be oblivious to the avarice, greed and evil that began this horrible slide into what well may be the end of civilization as we know it. Welcome to the third world, Glenn.

Rush Limbaugh Invites Underage Kids Onto His Private Plane.

2009-01-22T12:24:00.001-08:00

Rush Limbaugh in a vain attempt to assuage the ire of parents and teachers at a Minnesota elementary school where someone ran his commentary on the inauguration of President Barrack Obama, said that he’d invited fifteen of the young students to fly on his private jet. Rush vehemently tried to justify his disrespectful comments concerning the newly sworn in president, but seemed to fail miserably short of his goals saying that nobody ever really listens tohim in context. Rush’s self destructive tendencies seem to be alienating many people these days. The school principal declined the offer, citing Rushes fondness for small boys from the Dominican Republic.

Rush spent most of the day today trying to further divide the conservatives from the liberals in this country, by giving his now tiresome warnings of socialism. Proud to be a capitalist, the great man speculated on how happy he’d be not to have to pay taxes on his $400 million which has dwindled to about $300 million in the past 6 months, if only someone would be kind enough to keep all those poor people with torches and pitchforks from coming to his door.

“You’d think they were hungry, wanted an education, some health care, a place to sleep or something,” said Limbaugh. “Well they won’t get it from me!”

Do You Reallly Have To Say More?

2009-01-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

Lou Dobbs, CNN News anchor
No military service.

Paul Gigot, Wall Street Journal editor
No military service.

Sean Hannity, Hannity & Colmes host
No military service.

Brit Hume, Fox News anchor
No military service.

Rush Limbaugh, Radio talk show host
No military service.

Bill O'Reilly, O'Reilly Factor host
No military service.

Michael Savage, Radio talk show host
No military service.

Ann Coulter, writer & commentator
No military service.

They use our country and our people for their own aggrandizement. They are disgusting parasites and in severe need of a brutal adjustment to reality.

Of The People, By The People And For The People

2009-01-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

“The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.” —Winston Churchill

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

Kinda all depends on what is better for the greater good. And the last people who know about that are our elected Representatives and Senators who seem to be out solely for themselves.

Limbaugh Blames Obama For Recession

2009-01-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

I’d like to know how he caused it.

And in his explanation the fat windbag ranted about how egotistical Obama is and how completely clueless he is with regard to his own ignorance of all things financial. It sounded like Rush was really describing himself in relation to the real world.

Now he has the unmitigated gall to suggest that he was talking to Obama yesterday to share his wonderful ideas. His stupid radio gag seems to have backfired and today he is justifying himself, as usual, with some lame bullshit. The turd was having lunch with Dubya and besmirched his suit with ranch salad dressing. The slob. And then Dubya and his crew present him with a birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to him. What an asshead.

Floating around the way he does, you’d think the fat pig boy would be a little wary that someone might just get tired of his hot air and give a yank on his heart-plug.

What Hath God Wrought?

2009-01-13T08:30:00.000-08:00

Shepherds don’t look after sheep because they love them — although I do think some shepherds like their sheep too much. They look after their sheep so they can, first, fleece them and second, turn them into meat. That’s much more like the priesthood as I know it. —Christopher Hitchens

OK. I'll go along with the idea that without religion, the world might conceivably be a worse place. On the other hand, I'd stipulate that it might be an altogether better place if religion didn't exist at all.

One thing that's always bothered me is that, if God did exist, why does he let “men” prostitute his word? For that matter, why would he let them write his word? From the time of the Nicean Council about 300 years after the death of Jesus, madmen were gathered by the emperor Constantine to clear up the Christian mess that had been created by too may conflicting eye-witness accounts of the gospel. People who had no idea of what Christ had said or meant wrote fanciful stories they believed would be convincing to the hoards. Over two thousand years later we still have men telling us what they believe God wants for us and from us.

Well, as long as there is still a plethora of peasants out there with torches and pitchforks, I say, “Let’s get ’em!”

Lame Ducks Waddle Funny When They’re Drunk

2009-01-07T09:32:00.001-08:00

A parting shot at Dubya. Thirteen more days and the door hits him in the ass on his way out of the White House, a place he’s soiled and besmirched for the last eight years. Perhaps President Obama will have it fumigated to make it livable. And he still believes he can walk out with his head held high, as if his legacy will be vindicated by history. Wars all over the place, the economy in shambles, unemployment sure to reach double digits and intenational diplomacy at an all time low for the United States. I don’t think he’ll be taking any European vacations soon.

He’s not only a lame duck, he’s a loon.

Blagojevich Goes Down!

2008-12-12T12:32:00.001-08:00

Just when you thought you had something golden, some mug pulls the rug out from under you. The master of political innuendo, Rod Blagojevich, blabbed his conniving ass off during wire-tapped conversations intercepted by the FBI making Federal Prosecuter, Patrick Fitzgerald’s hair catch on fire. The Senate seat in question is now on E-Bay awaiting auction.

A small 6.7 temblor was felt throughout Illinois, thought to be caused by Lincoln spinning in his grave.

Beautiful Dreamers..Well Dreamers, Anyway

2008-12-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

This is the kind of shit that makes me sick. The Speaker of the House and the House Majority Leader pontificating on who they are going to hold accountable for what, never mind why. And not only that. Amidst a chorus of WTF, Harry Reid pronounces that, now that the Congress has it’s new air-conditioning system (which came in at something like $3 million over budget) in place he no longer has to suffer the malodorous tourists visiting his holy seat in the hallowed halls of the U.S.lawmakers. Imagine that. Harry thinks the public stinks.

Meanwhile, gutless, no, she has a gut and a rather bloated one. (She is an old harpy who’s trying to maintain her youthful appearance with face-lifts and body wraps). Let’s say, spineless Nancy, is pledging to hold accountable the Big Three Auto Makers for the money congress might lend them. I said, lend them. Which implies they are pledging to pay it back. Why she would do this when she has acquiesced and shirked every other challenge she could have performed as her public, nay, congressional duty?

I'll clue you in. She likes Washington and she likes the power she has garnered. She played Bush like a violin and now is trying to continue playing her constituency and the American people. It’s time to send her a message. Oh, yeah. Send one to Harry too. Something has been rotten in Washington since he got there. He stinks.

Hannity Interviews The Real President

2008-11-18T08:10:00.001-08:00

Sean Hannity sank to a new low yesterday, exposing Dick Cheney as the real POTUS.

“I tricked it out of him,” said Hannity. “You know, you know, I’m really good at it. That’s how I got my own show! And I really like money. I shill for just about anyone. Oh, hell, I DO shill for anyone if they’ve go money to throw at me. Ruth’s Chris, GM, hey, just call me if you’ve got money. Whatever shitty thing you got, you know, I can sell.”

It’s A Little Tight In The Seat

2008-11-14T09:50:00.001-08:00

Laura Ingraham reacts with obvious disgust as she tries on the military’s new “Eviscerated Cadaver” fighting uniform for conservatives who would like to reclaim the country they lost to the Democrats through their obliviousness to the needs of the American people and their greed for themselves.

“I nearly vomited up my spleen,” Ingraham shrieked later, “I've never experienced defeat like this in my life. I've always been paid well. I don't know how I'll make it on a few measly million a year, endorsing shitty products and selling my stupid books. I mean, I’m entitled to much more from the free market that we neo-cons have worshipped for so long and have profited from so greatly at the expense of others. I mean where else are you going to get quality, Naziesque hate-speech so cheaply? And look what Obama has done to the economy already!”

Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity were seen later modeling their new cadaver suits at one of Hannity’s Freedom Concerts where Hank Williams Junior endeavored to whip the audience into a frenzy by tearing the heads off kittens and spraying the crowd with blood.

Does Anyone Know What’s Going On?

2008-11-14T07:04:00.001-08:00

Asked if they knew what had happened to the economy during a senate hearing, Henry “Hank” Paulson and Ben “The Wad” Bernanke replied that they hadn’t the foggiest notion. In fact, they said that they were only hanging around because their pay was so good they couldn’t afford to walk away in tough times like these.

Asked if they felt bad about it, they replied as one, stating simultaneously, “No.” Asked to explain why he had suddenly switched from a position to buy up the viral paper owned by the banks because of the mortgage fiasco to bailing out the credit industry, which like his treasury also runs on dreams and good wishes, Paulson said, “It’s kinda like fairies. If you don't clap your hands and say, ‘I believe,’ they die. The same goes for money.”

Bringing America To Its Knees

2008-11-07T09:02:00.001-08:00

With the election over, Rush just can't wait to start destroying Obama and his adminisration before it is even in office. Bashing Rahm Emanuel as Chief of Staff even before he has a staff. Blaming Obama’s election for the decline of the Dow because people are afraid. They got over their fear pretty well yesterday, however, long enough to take a few profits.

This man should be ignored and feared. He is the divisive force that has made greed and hate all it has become to our society. He is a Nazi and a Grand Wizard rolled into one little unloveable hairball of cat puke. I can't wait for the Fairness Doctrine to be reenacted. Then you'll hear some sputter and flatulance from this wad of filth.

The Geezer And Gidget

2008-10-31T13:37:00.001-07:00

The wait is nearly over. Soon the talk-radio stations will be filled with ranting and gnashing of teeth, the likes of which America has never heard. Sean, Rush, Laura, Levin, Savage...all insane at the thought, nay the reality that Brack Obama is now President-elect. January twentieth, he will be President in fact. If they are always right, how could they have been so very wrong. Even with all their desperate prevarication and spin. It really proves there are more of us than there are of them.

Wrong Again, Rush

2008-10-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Unfortunately for people like that pig , Flush Limbaugh, those words are not from the Constitution of the United States, but from the Declaration of Independence which makes all his ranting about abortion and right to life irrelevant and immaterial. The words have nothing to do with the law of the land. The constitution says nothing about right to life. As close as the constitution gets is to state;

“The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.”

Oh, yeah, and that socialism story about Thanksgiving, Rush... I think your hero, George Bush’s, socialistic bailout of Wall Street and the Banks to the tune of $700 billion beats out the Pilgrims first failed attempt at socialism more than 200 years later.

Racists In Denial

2008-10-21T13:41:00.001-07:00

“There's a lot more hypocrisy than before. Racism has gone back underground.” —Richard Pryor

Check out this vulgar pigboy. Today he was defending the popular take that he is a racist. Yesterday he was all about how General Colin Powell had finally broken his silence and endorsed Obama because Barack was going to win the election. That he is endorsing him primarily because of their shared blackness.

Limbaugh, who did all he could do keep McCain from being the Republican nominee, could hardly keep his head from exploding because of this betrayal by Powell, condemning him for never being a true republican or a conservative while he was Bush’s Uncle Tom pushing WMDs to the UN.

Do we remember why Rush lost his job on ESPN? He resigned before he got fired. Would an innocent sportscaster do that?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1628539

Ipso facto QED. I rest my case.

Oh, Yeah. This Shit’s Goin’ Down

2008-10-18T19:56:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine the wailing and the gnashing of teeth when Limbaugh, Hannity and Ingraham finally wake up and smell the spittle they’ve left on their microphones? When Glen Beck finally does what he needs to do for his country? When Bill Krystol’s head explodes and Brit Hume finally decides to mourn his son’s death properly. When Joe the Plumber decides he’s rather make $250,000 as a brain surgeon and returns to school? And when America’s chickens come home to roost?

Everyone will be surprised. “Brave New World” wasn’t just a book. It was a real glimpse into a real future, only a little short sighted. It’s gonna happen.

Land Of The Freak, Home of the Knave

2008-10-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

“Obscenity is a cleansing process, whereas pornography only adds to the murk.” —Henry Miller

She just won't quit. Like some 1950s beauty queen winking at the horny judges in the first row at Atlantic City to put herself in better stead, Sarah does everything but deep throat the mike to stimulate the conservative, evangelical masses to a frenetic orgasm. The crowd yells, “Terrorist!” “Kill him!” “Traitor!” “Nobama!” “Off with his head!” And other even worse epithets.

Problem is, the RNC, along with the intelligent people of this country, is finally coming to realize that Sarah Palin is the riskiest pick John McCain could have ever made for his vice presidential running mate and the most dangerous. One thing is for certain. His choice says an awfully lot about his poor judgment and desperation.

Ya Want Abuse? I'll Give Ya Abuse, You Betcha!

2008-10-11T07:48:00.001-07:00

Above is a picture of Governor Palin taking at the executive mansion in Anchorage, Alaska taken on a warm day last summer before all the hub-bub went down and she became John McCain's running mate. An executive panel formed to look into alleged abuse of power as governor recently found that, although she didn’t break any specific laws, she did indeed abuse her power as governor in the case of the dismissal of Public Safety Officer Walt Monegan for the refusal to fire Trooper Wooten, the governor’s ex brother-in-law.

Although there was no “legal” wrong doing, there were 18 ethical violations which goes even deeper into the heart of why this woman was perhaps the faultiest choice Jon McCain could have made for his vice presidential running mate. Or then again, this sneaky little bitch might be exactly what his campaign needed.

Rush Limbaurgh’s Head Explodes, Constipation Cured.

2008-10-09T07:02:00.001-07:00

In what appeared to be a freak accident brought on by Oxycontin withdrawal, Rush Limbaugh’s head exploded yesterday during a desperate rant urging the extreme right-wing-nut base to kil and eat liberals before they can take over the government.

After the explosion, Rush, examining his besmirched golden micriphone, was heard muttering to Snerdly about how much better he felt to get “that shit” out of his system.

The Joke’s On You, America.

2008-10-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

Tricks and treachery are the practice of fools,
that don't have brains enough to be honest.
—Benjamin Franklin

After eating a breakfast of fresh brains, Senator McCain and his faithful zombie companion, Sarah, hit the campaign trail, spreading peace and love everywhere they went, not to mention lots of corpses. Pledging to bring prosperity to an ailing economy, McCain regaled the throngs with anecdotes about Black Muslims and their plan to take over America, impugning the credentials of Barack Obama and linking him to “Malcom Ten,” the deceased black leader that McCain says Senator Obama met 3 years before he was born.

If There Were Any Justice...Part II

2008-10-07T06:57:00.001-07:00

After the election in November when Obama and Biden win, people who voted for John McCain and Sarah Palin should be forced to live in a parallel universe and endure eight more years of Bush policies...just because that's what they wanted.

Fall From Grace Or “Pray With Me Henry.”

2008-10-03T07:30:00.001-07:00

Sometimes things just don’t work out. Like when you spend the treasure of the richest country in the world on silly things like war, false international friends who turn on you, tax breaks for your rich friends and candy. When the only way to fix it is to continue throwing money at it until you can’t borrow any more from the Chinese.

But, no, that will never happen on George’s watch.

McCain Names His Poison. And It’s Name Is Sarah!

2008-10-02T00:39:00.000-07:00

It was all gonna be so simple. All Johnny Mack had to do was name a dream girl to his campaign as his Vice Presidential running mate and he’d swing all the thwarted and pissed off Hillary supporters into his camp. Where did it all go wrong? Was it when Limbaugh and Hannity started to loose it and their heads exploded during the Wall Street debacle? Was it When he went to Washington to solve the $700,000,000,000 bailout by brokering a bi-partisan solution and lost the bet trying to save his campaign?

No. It was becoming clearer now. It was when that hot ex-runner-up beauty-skank said,“Heck, yah! I’ll run with ya, Johnny. Yer kinda cute. Hero too! Wipe you feet. No, not there. Stand over here with the rest of the hockey team. Where’s your wife, Cindy? Hey! Yah ever seen Russia from an Alaskan bedroom window?”

Brother, Can You Spare $700Bn?

2008-10-01T07:15:00.001-07:00

Oh, it’s coming alright. You can count on it. And I mean a world of hurt. Whether or not Wall Street is bailed out or not. The writing is on the wall and since Dubya always gets what he wants or throws a hissy fit, you know he’s gonna cause trouble one way or the other.

Rush Rimjob says it’s because the Democrats made Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pay reparations to black people who couldn’t afford the mortgage payments on the homes they bought and were foreclosed upon. He’s nuts, you know. He also blames Obama for accusing the fat cats and greed on Wall Street. Funny he mentions nothing about Johnny Mack blaming the same greed and tycoons. Nut job. Panicking and besmirching his pants along with Hannity.

I'm sorry, but I won’t part with the money to be watching the Ditto-Cam when his head explodes.

Where’s Dick Been?

2008-09-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

Evidently Dick has made so much money, he’s been packing for the last few days at his undisclosed secret location at the Fortress of Solitude where he’s been licking his wounds after his most recent snub by the leaders of Uzbekistan or one of the other Stans. When reached for comment, Cheney said, “Go f**k yourself.”

McCain Learns Something...From Karl Rove, Lenin and Goebels

2008-09-16T05:49:00.001-07:00

If you tell the same lie consistently and often it will appear to be the truth, and unless challenged, will be accepted by the American people as the truth. If not refuted it, may as well be the truth. Unfortunately, it is not that the majority of the American people have a real problem with the substance or lack of substance of these lies. They are a diversion.

This, sadly, America, is how you really think about Barack Obama and why you are afraid of him.

Forgetfulness, Like An Old Trusted Friend Lulls Us To Complacency

2008-09-11T14:25:00.001-07:00

It’s beginning to look like the country has forgotten what the last eight years have lead us to. The economy is in the tank. The taxpayer is in constant peril of bailing out financial institutions which the government neglected to properly watch. The price of fuel and food is skyrocketing. Unemployment is rising. And no one seems to have the proper amount of health insurance. We strut around the world telling sovereign nations what to to to help us out and they laugh at us. We try to buy friends and are rightly snubbed.

Now we’re told that a governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin as Vice President would make all the difference in the world. That this gun-toting, wolf-shooting, salmon-fishing moose gutter is ready and fit to lead our country should the actuarial tables prove the odds correct. She has breathed new life into the crypt keeper, John McWheeze, and empowered the every woman in America to have a Down syndrome baby of her own. With her nasal, whining voice she has shown her ignorance of the most dangerous foreign policy of our day, the Bush doctrine, which states that if you concoct enough evidence of “imminent” threat you can blow the shit out of any country you want like a nice neighbor gone bad, shooting the kids on his lawn with a shotgun only they aren’t on his lawn, they’re in their beds next door.

My country, wrong or wrong. Hey, what are YOU doing here?

Conservative Three Ring Circus

2008-09-04T08:40:00.001-07:00

Come one, come all! The big show has already begun. We’ve got Larry “Wide-Stance-Gobbler” Craig. We’ve got Rudy “Third-Time’s-The-Charm” Guiliani, Newt “Here-Are-Your-Divorce-Papers-You Cancer-Riddled-Bitch” Gingrich and The Two-Timing ex-POW John “The Songbird Adulterer” McCain.

For your added enjoyment, may we present the Queen of Trailer Trash, Sarah “Can’t-Keep-My-Knees-Together” Palin. She will shoot apples off the tops of all her children whilst crooning like Francis McDormond. Uff-da!

Wait, wait. It's not what it looks like. Well, OK. It is what it looks like, but I can explain.

Right Wing Sideshow Freaks Go Mad!

2008-09-03T13:20:00.001-07:00

As usual, the first casualty of any battle is truth. The disgusting pigboy of the EIB Network, the pundit of the Rush Limbaugh Institute for the study of Conservatism went on a blasphemous tirade today. Screeching like a tea kettle boiling over, this pompous ass proceeded to eviscerate the media, the democrats, the liberals and almost anyone who disagreed with him. He kept up the vomit for his three hours, calling people asses for calling him the hypocrite he is while pretending to be a Godly, forgiving Christian. A pro life idiot who believes in teaching abstinence, condemns sex education and doesn't realize how badly an unwanted pregnancy can screw up a promising life. He will defend to the death (or at least a little pain) the right of Sarah Palin to force your daughter to have her rapist’s baby!

Why The Blank Stare?

2008-09-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what five years of torture can do to a man...and quite frankly I don‘t want to find out the hard way.

I know it can make someone do strange things.

The Problem With Zombies

2008-08-28T13:09:00.001-07:00

The problem with zombies is that most of the time they just won’t die. They’re tricky and hard to put down permanently. That’s the real problem. They just keep groaning, moving inexorably, and shuffling along in an effort to get more brains. And the poor things don’t even know they’re dead! Usually they are capable of holding their arms no higher than their shoulders as they pursue their prey. The only way to stop them is to vote against them in November.

According To The PUMAs, This Is What Should Have Happened Last Night After The Roll Call Vote Went Bad

2008-08-28T07:59:00.001-07:00

Unfortunately, for the PUMAs, it didn’t happen. Hillary graciously told her most ardant supporters to grow up, get a life and vote responsibly. In other words, don’t be assholes.

Down But Not Out...Well, Maybe Out Too...For Now

2008-08-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Resigned to fate, is about all you can say.

Despite the fact that Barack Obama may at some point in the near future may find himself either incapacitated, knee-capped or dead as many other Clinton enemies and friends, Hillary will not slip away into that dark night. She is one to rage against the dying of the light. If she can keep it lit for a few more years, she may make a triumphant return in 2012 or 2016.

Club Gitmo Insanity

2008-08-25T09:16:00.001-07:00

Those madcap boys are at it again! More fun than a barrel. More humor than the inside of an eyeball. More laughs than a hyena. Only George and Dick can bore a hole and they don’t know where. The need John McCain to tell them to “Drill now, drill here...right here” where presumably his feet are standing.

And don’t forget to order a bunch of crap from Rush Limbaugh from his “Club Gitmo Collection” so he can continue his riotous trips to the bank, America.

Evil Is As Evil Does

2008-08-19T06:16:00.001-07:00

$400 million and this is what you get. Clear Channel ought to have its heads examined. Thirteen million ditto-headed clones who believe this crackpot to be the voice of conservatism, who in reality is no more than an ugly slug crawling on the national cabbage, spewing hatred and divisiveness under the guise of morality. What a hypocrite.

And he’s laughing the whole way to the bank.

The Classic Creeps

2008-08-16T10:33:00.001-07:00

Yes. They’re back. Those scary monsters that used to hide under your bed, in your closet when you were a kid! And they’re gonna getcha! They’ve already taken over the country. Now they’re coming for your family. Your wife, your children and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. Now the pods are everywhere. Even your home town. There’s one of them that looks just like you! And you can’t seem to keep from falling asleep. Sleep well, America. George and his creepy friends are awake.

Drinking Games

2008-08-15T06:40:00.001-07:00

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” —George Burns

In a vain attempt to show he’s the kinda guy you’d like to have a beer with, President Bush challenged Valdimir Putin to a drinking contest. Whoever could pound down the most shots of Jagermeister would win the world. At a supreme disadvantage because he is, after all, a recovering alcoholic, Bush lost hands down. Everyone will now learn Russian and underwear will be worn on the outside. Cardinal Puff could not be reached for comment.

Iowa State Fair Hosts McCain. Gets Porked

2008-08-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Visiting Iowa in hope that he might garner a few votes from Obama supporters, Senator John McCain munched on a corn dog and blathered farm gibberish to Miss Iowa Pork. Miss Pork smiled in a kind way toward the withered up, white haired senator and asked him what movies he’d made since Miracle on 34th Street. She’d loved him as Fred Mertz in I love Lucy, too.

Bush Off The Wagon Again. Gets Bombed At Olympics.

2008-08-13T07:43:00.001-07:00

President Bush was seen staggering drunkenly through the beach volleyball venue at the 2008 Olympic games. It would appear that his adult beverage of choice was an expensive single malt scotch whisky and that he didn’t seem to hold it any better than any other alcohol he’d abused before. High-fiving the athletes and smacking ass, Dubya chanted “USA, USA...oops don’t tell Pickles, Shhhhh!”

Bush Sells Soul. Putin Demands Money Back. Claims Soul Is Worthless.

2008-08-12T08:38:00.001-07:00

In what could be described as a drug deal gone wrong, Premier Putin of Russia apparently bought a pig in a poke. Haggling for souls at the Olympic Games on Monday, Putin put in a bid for George W. Bush’s immortal spirit. Unfortunately, when he got it back to his hotel room he found he had been swindled.

“It was merely this black, oily piece of goo about the size of a dead cherry stone clam. A piece of crap!” noted Putin. “Even Joseph Stalin’s soul was about the size of a watermelon and pink. I want my money back. And I paid in Euros, damn it!”

George Bush refused all inquiries and was on his way back to the states on Air Force One.

The Wisdom Of King Solomon

2008-08-08T07:06:00.001-07:00

And, since no one could agree, with one whack, Solomon cut the Democratic Party in half.

Half the party voted for Obama. The other half stayed home or out of spite voted Republican.

John McCain went on to become president and the Democrats gnashed their teeth, rent their clothes and cursed in vain for the promised land that might have been had they not been such assholes.

Quoting Glenn Beck...

2008-08-07T14:38:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes you gotta do what’s right for the country” —Glenn Beck

That’s why he set himself on fire like a Buddhist monk and burned himself to death. Good boy, Glenn.

The Power! Yeah, The Power! Uh, The Powder... Man, Was That Good Shit!

2008-08-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

George Bush Figures Out How To Scare The Be-Jesus Out Of The Country

2008-08-05T07:42:00.001-07:00

Since most Americans are not easily frightened of invading hordes of radical Muslims and Taliban fighters wading ashore in Ocean City New Jersey, it was necessary to find a more insidious means of scaring the country into compliance so that the Patriot Act would pass and grant all kinds of extra powers to the executive branch.

So Dubya had a government lab go to work in Cheney’s secret underground bunker and produced the perfect solution. An innocent white powder in appearance, but a really creepy disease in reality. Perfect. But they had to avoid detection. Cheney came up with another perfect solution, manipulate Bruce Ivins, an employee who had worked in the government lab to produce the deadly toxin and distribute it, have the CIA kill him and make it look like a suicide. The guy was so depressed at being instrumental in killing five victims he didn’t really care.

Better living through chemistry. Case closed.

The Republican Presidential Candidate

2008-08-04T05:22:00.001-07:00

There’s an old saying. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

And You Know It’s Going To Happen.

2008-08-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

The criminals will get away with it and there is nothing anyone can do about it. The only good news is that it is doubtful that they will be doing lot of international travel in the near future. It took Simon Rosenthal a long time, but he finally nabbed Eichman. Think good thoughts and maybe justice will someday be done. Oh wait a minute. What am I saying. Never mind. THAT will never happen.

Illegal Spying Made Legal For Bush

2008-07-14T06:54:00.000-07:00

“President Bush and his administration have tried to pull the wool over our eyes and distract the public from this possibly illegal domestic spying scandal.” —Ellen Tauscher

Not since Lyndon Johnson got his bedtime reading from J.Edgar Hoover (AKA Mary) concerning the sexploits of the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. has a president been more guilty of spying on the public than now. Behind a screen of fear mongering that the jihadist bogeyman is gonna getcha, this administration runs roughshod over the constitution ignoring the fourth amendment which prohibits illegal search and seizure. Somehow a lame duck president managed to arm wrestle a spineless congress into capitulation on prosecuting the telecommunications companies for their illegal aid in funishing private phone records of individual citizens.

A U.S. president's granting immunity from prosecution for a constitutional crime. Isn't that, like, treason or something?

It’s Not Funny Anymore

2008-07-10T10:28:00.001-07:00

It's official. Telecommunication companies are in the clear. By abetting the illegal, warrant-less wiretapping for the Bush administration’s “war” on terror, seems like everyone but 26 democrats caved in and voted for the new FISA bill. Even Obama, seeming to want to prove he's just another politician with feet of clay, who swore he'd never let them off the hook, now seems to think that he should abuse the constitution as well. Shame on these people. They’re supposed to uphold the constitution, not render it useless by ignoring it.

Oh, but then they have other uses for this sacred document.

Crashing Airplanes Qualifies You To Be President

2008-07-09T05:54:00.001-07:00

Where's Amelia Earhart when you could use a good female running mate?

Wes Clark didn't call McCain’s patriotism questionable. He merely stated the obvious. Getting shot down and captured in enemy territory doesn’t exactly speak well as a qualification to be president of the United States. Hell, it doesn’t qualify you to be a janitor at the local high school either.

Move Zig!

2008-07-02T09:36:00.001-07:00

Condoleeza Rice revealed today that she was, as suspected, an alien. Returning from yet another shopping trip to the Mid-East and Europe, Rice who prefers to be called Kahndi, suggested that she would “take off every zig for great justice!” Secret Service agents assigned to Ms Rice informed the White House press corps that at least seventeen zigs had been found in the ladies room at the State Department.

Only In America

2008-06-18T13:30:00.001-07:00

Where else can you hoodwink a bunch of conservative Americans into believing the same old lies with the same old song and dance? The only thing Bush and McCain don't know is how to play “Pat-a-cake” with the true villains of the world, the Saudis. If Hope and Crosby were still around, they'd make “The Road to Riyad” and give Fisal's heirs a couple of lumps to think about while they were getting both Dorothy Lamour AND the oil.

What makes you think Reagan could do any better than some other actors? B-movie stuff at best.

Bush Awards Medal Of Honor Posthumously.

2008-06-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

Now There’s A Handsome Couple!

2008-06-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

President Nuri al-Maliki and President Mahmood Ahmadinejad going out on a date in Tehran recently.

We are still trying to prop up puppet heads of state who attempt to sell us their dictatorships as democracies. And we wonder why they turn on us like rabid dogs, embracing their own kind, after “all we’ve done for them.”

We have an idiot for a president living in a fantasy world who thinks his way of doing things is right because he believes there is a God who talks to him and tells him to spread freedom and democracy to countries which have no idea what democracy is because they’ve lived under the guns and knives of petty tyrants forever.

Who’s next on our to do list?